


To Be Good And Honorable

by Hibari_chan



Series: About Wraith honor and other stories [1]
Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Arranged Marriage, Crossover, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Mating Bond, Mpreg, Wraith/Human relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-20 07:17:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1501547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hibari_chan/pseuds/Hibari_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Sheppard just wake up and then find out that he is pregnant with his gorgeous Wraith lover?<br/>Just a little family fiction.<br/>Very AU.<br/>Just prepare for Kenny in deep depresion :-)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Human stupidity

**Author's Note:**

> Where John realizes that he is pregnant and is very, very confused. With little Kenny appearance.
> 
> (My first English fiction, be nice to me, please! No beta-read, too. Sadly.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where John realizes that he is pregnant and is very, very confused. With little Kenny appearance.
> 
> (My first English fiction, be nice to me, please! No beta-read, too. Sadly.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta - Blue_Night - for help and patience with my mistakes!

"You are pregnant. Nine weeks if I am correct."  
  
Dr. Keller stood in front of her patient, controlling the information on her tablet. She looked surprised, stunned, but mostly very curious about her statement.  
  
"You know that if I was aware that men could get pregnant, I would have recommended to you some contraceptive pills. Really, Sheppard, do you really use no condoms?"  
  
"Is that some sort of april joke, Dr. Keller?" John Sheppard hissed sitting on his bed, frowning.  
  
"A Christmas gift, I would say-"  
  
"Sheppard!"  
  
McKay ran into Sheppard's hospital room breathing heavily,  a grin on his face and absolutely ignoring the situation his best friend was in. "You will not believe me what we discovered! It's amazing. Do you remember Kenny? Todd' s second? He is genius! Okay, I am better you know, I did it almost alone-" The Wraith behind him growled "-just with some help from our green friend, and..."  
  
"Rodney, shortly, please. I'm not in the mood to listen to your talking right now”, Sheppard said with little understanding and patience for Rodney' s enthusiasm. Right now he felt so scared and confused that he was not able to think straight. Was that true? He had never been told about any man getting pregnant, even with ATA gene, which was the only explanation Dr. Keller could offer right now. He. Pregnant. It sounded like the worst horror movie in the world! He. Father - or mother?  
  
How was he supposed to tell him?  
  
Most important, how was it supposed to work with his duties? He could not just stop working, so many things depended on him or his decisions. Slight depression fell upon his shoulders almost immediately when he realized that his pregnancy would surely interrupt the lives of so many people around him - people he called friends, people he didn't not know how they would react when he would tell them about his state.  
  
Dr. Keller sighed. "Dr. McKay, please, I am in the progress of a medical examination and I would like you to let me finish my work and get out of my way. Please, I am sure this can wait a little moment, I need to talk with Colonel Sheppard about some kind of serious matter."  
  
"Sheppard, you are ill?"  
  
"Rodney..."  
  
"Is it really that serious? Can I do something? Anything!"  
  
"Please, Rodney, just go away. I will come to you after we've finished this, okay?" Sheppard said, sounding exhausted. He had  little patience now, even if it was his best friend he would send away right now.  
  
"I... yes, okay. I will just... go back to lab with Kenny, I suppose."  
  
"Great. See you there."  
  
When Rodney left, Dr. Keller gave Sheppard  a serious look. She showed him the screen with some pictures of his abdomen and the baby inside him - no, not baby, just an embryo. Sheppard was not ready to call it baby yet.  
  
"How is that possible, Doctor? I mean... men are not supposed to carry children. We have not... well organs to reproduce! Or I was told we don't."  
  
"I am quite sure that it has something to do with your ATA gene. We know pretty much about the Ancient culture but really very little about  their sexuality. There probably were homosexual pairs like in our world - maybe their males were able to produce children when they were in  a homosexual relationship to protect civilization from extinction. We did not record womb or other reproducing organs in your body before so there is the possibility that these organs grew inside your body in case of... need."  
  
"So because I have strong ATA genes that means that I am some sort of hermaphrodite alien?"  
  
"Well I have to do some test and research - then I will be able to tell you more, but practically: Yes. It's just because there is so much we don't know yet. Until I'm able to tell you more, I would recommend you not to be in active duty. We do not know how this is going to affect your work performance and senses - and your health, of course. Perhaps we should talk to this Wraith, Kenny, he is quite old and he may know something we don't."  
  
"I would prefer not to talk to him," Sheppard said, quietly. "I need some time to come to terms with that for myself."  
  
Dr. Keller nodded. "Yes, I understand, but I have to report this. Its so uncommon - I have to tell it Dr. Weir."  
  
"Great," Sheppard said, sarcastically. "But only to her."  
  
"Of course."  
  
+  
  
So he was pregnant. Really pregnant - with  a baby in his abdomen.  A Little Wraith baby with green skin and silky white hair who would feed on human life force when it was old enough. He had to admit that it was scary considered that way. He was quite sure that it was not something he would have planned or wanted - yes, of course he had dreamed about family, but he had never thought that it would happen with his dangerous work, women turning him down in the moment he fell in love with them and... well, then Todd came into his life and turned it completely.  
  
When he realized that he was gay, that  a relationship with another male  would fulfill him with joy and pleasure in a way no woman would ever be able to, he thought that he would never have his own child. Not with  a Wraith, especially with an ancient Wraith whose cooperation and alliance was so unstable.  
  
Yes, there was some trust between them. That was the reason why Todd' s second was in Atlantis now. Learning the human way, history and moral for better understanding their race, when Todd was away. Yeah, Kenny was quite good company; sometimes he even joined theirs lunch and ate some pieces of fruit, friendly and cooperative.  But he and Todd were very different.  
  
Kenny was like a brother to Sheppard (even when he would never say that in front of Ronon), but Todd... Todd held Sheppard's heart.  
  
Sheppard touched his belly and smiled. There it was - his and Todd' s baby. It was like a real miracle. He was very frightened but also very happy about it. He could not imagine talking to Todd about this, he really worried about his reaction... well, he  even couldn't imagine how his friends were going to react!  
  
He knew that he had to tell them, later...


	2. Wraith can be stupid too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Kenny deals with loss of his mate?
> 
> Kenny-focused chapter, but with John and his baby and - of course - Steve.  
> Hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank to my beta Blue_Night for her amazing work on my chapters! Thank you so much.

Kenny - because that was the name the people from Atlantis had given him - sat in his cage. They still did not trust their allied Wraith enough to give them their own rooms, but thankfully there was a bed, and a table with chairs so he didn't have to sit on the cold floor all the time, so it was as comfortable as a prison cell could be. He was quite pleased with that and he also was also proud with the friendship he had been able to create with Dr. McKay - it had been very hard to create the bond between them, some sort of friendship, because of Rodney's fear of  the Wraith race, but he actually had started to trust him.  
  
It made Kenny feel more welcome here.  
  
Nevertheless, this was not his Hive. But there were people talking to him, not with fear but with curiosity, and it was  a welcomed change. He often talked with Colonel Sheppard, mostly about Todd or the Alliance. Talks with Sheppard were also important for him - they were less technical than those with Rodney and more personal, well, except when Rodney tried to get some love advice from Kenny which was great a failure when he told the human scientist about his homosexual orientation.  
  
Talks with Sheppard made him sad too, and that happened very, very often. It was so hard for Kenny to listen about John's love for Todd - even when he never said it loud. There was so much love in the human's heart for his Wraith Commander. Kenny could almost take it into his hands and have them full. He loved once too - no, he was still in love and his own heart was in pain because of it.  
  
His husband (well that was the human word for the relationship between him and his mate) was dead. It was the only right word to describe it, 'cause Kenny did not believe that Steve would let him be alone, just like that, without a single word. It had been so many years, so many days between this day and the day he last saw him. His amazing husband who always protected him, kissed him and made him feel loved.  
  
Yes, for so many Wraith and human people, Steve was  a very uncommon individual, with his energetic, explosive personality. He was true Wraith, strong and proud, with clear opinions about his food, always the one who enjoyed the feeding process most - but Kenny loved him. In fact, it was Steve who fell in love with him first.  
  
Kenny remembered that day very often. It had been so many thousands of years ago, when Steve cornered him in his rooms like an uninvited guest and told him that from this day on, he belonged to him. At first, Kenny was not impressed with this idea, he didn't know him well enough to decide this important matter so quickly, but only a few moments later, Steve took him in his arms and put him into the bed. They made love together and it was an amazing night for younger Wraith.  
  
Steve held him, kissed him, fucked him with so much love, with so many feelings inside his eyes and touches that he could not fight it.   
  
Kenny missed him so much, every second of his entire being. It was like some sort of cruel torture to continue with his life, when Steve was not here to hold him and comfort him. Love him. He felt so alone, when his mate was ripped from his arms so suddenly. It was worse than hunger, than any pain he ever suffered. He could not described it with words, he just felt it and it weighed down his heart.  
  
Yes. So many people believed that Wraith had no hearts, but Kenny knew better. They could feel! They  feel as much as any human could and maybe even more because of their nature. And to be able to feel... hurt.  
  
He felt so broken with no one who was able to understand him. Todd tried to comfort him every moment he was there, to make him feel better, but it was not enough. He wanted to cry, to shout, to kill those who had  Steve taken away from him and to have his own revenge, but everything he was allowed to show, was a blank face and tears in his room when no one was there, just memories. It was hard to live on the Hive ship, with such competition.  
  
His position was just something which fell upon his shoulders when Steve died - he was  a scientist, not a warrior, but now he was Todd' s Second, perhaps just in memory of Steve, who had held this position for thousands of years, but he was grateful. It was a reminder, that Steve had really existed, and that he was still in the memories of many.  
  
Most of the time, he just wanted to die.  
  
"Kenny?" Sheppard's voice slipped into his thoughts and the Wraith raised his head.  
  
"Colonel Sheppard, what a nice surprise”, he said an tried to smile at his Commander's mate. "Are you here to take me to the lab? I am sure Rodney could use my expertise."  
  
John smiled. "Yes and no. I want to talk to you first."  
  
" Hm, I see. Well then, I suppose you can start talking and I will listen, Colonel Sheppard."  
  
"Please, just John," the Colonel said and opened the cage. "I thought that you will be more comfortable at the balcony, perhaps? I want to discuss with you some... delicate matters I cannot tell the others."  
  
"Secrets then. Well, lead the way... John."  
  
The Colonel showed him the way - the view was amazing like always when he was able to be there, with so many plants Dr. Keller studied and the old city around. It was their usual place for such talks which usually included Todd and Kenny was sure that Todd would be theirs topic again.  
  
John seemed to be very nervous when he opened his mouth and then just shut it up. "You know, Kenny.. well, how to put this. Have you ever been in love? Can Wraith fall in love?"  
  
Pieces of pain pierced Kenny's heart like shards of a mirror. "I am sure that my Commander loves you very deeply, John, if that's you are asking me. Of course, our kind have hearts and can feel, I can assure you."  
  
"But you do not have the family concept like we have."  
  
"That's right. There are only a few strong females who normally are the rulers and cannot live in some kind of monogamous relationship in our culture and even then the pregnancy process is not the same. But we mate with each other very often. It's more usual to have homosexual relationships for us because of the lack of available females. Of course, we cannot have children of our own, but we have each other."  
  
"So.. Do you have  a mate?"  
  
"I did had my mate, Colonel, once. But he was captured a few years ago by humans when he was on a mission. We were with each other for thousands of years so it's still very painful for me. We tried to find him for  a long time but we failed."  
  
Sheppard looked shocked for a little amount of time, but then he realized that it was not uncommon for Wraith to be killed in action or captured. It was the way he first met Todd. "I am sorry."  
  
"You don't have to be sorry, John. You did not kill my mate”, Kenny answered and  tried to smile, again. "Why do you ask such a questions?"  
  
"I want to know where I stand in Todd' s life, you know? There are so much differences between us and I am not sure if he feels love for me the way I feel for him.” It was hard for Sheppard to talk about his feeling but Kenny was a patient, quiet listener and he felt comfortable in his presence. "And I am his food, you know, just human. How can he feel anything for his food?"  
  
"My Commander does not see you as food, John. You are his mate and you are very important to him, although you are human. I am sure he gives you The Gift of life to be able to be with him for  a long time so your humanity is not problem."  
  
Sheppard shrugged. "And what about the crew on his Hives?" He asked, nervously. That topic bothered him the most - Kenny was friendly to him, but there were so many Wraith in Todd' s alliance.  
  
"You are afraid because of the child you carry, John Sheppard?" Kenny asked, politely and smiled, when Sheppard looked at him in deep shock. "I know because I can sense it - another life force inside you, and your ATA gene which makes it possible. Am I right to think that it's my Commander's child?"  
  
"Y-yes. I did not have sex with anyone else. So it's possible for men to become pregnant?"  
  
Kenny nodded. "For a man with strong ATA gene like you, it can be possible, but I never heard about a human-wraith hybrid, coming from this type of relationship."  
  
"So, there was never  a wraith-human baby?"  
  
"There was, but only in heterosexual relationships and even then there was a great risk of miscarriage - and if the baby was born it was pure Wraith. Its very hard to feed babies small like this, John, but fortunately they grow quickly."  
  
Sheppard just stood there, in silent, thinking about himself and his baby he started to love. So his little baby was Wraith - he had a Wraith inside him and he was not scared about this fact, but the thought of a miscarriage worried him more than he would have expected. He put his hand on his belly and smiled.  
  
It was his and Todd' s baby, not some kind of monster.  
  
"Do you think that he will be glad?" He said quietly in an uncertain voice.  
  
"I think he will be very happy, John”, Kenny answered and finally was able to smiled. "Did you tell your friends?"  
  
'No', Sheppard thought. 'But soon, I hope.'  
  
"Don't be afraid, John Sheppard. I will tell no one."  
  



	3. Keep calm and...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd's return to Atlantis and little of Steve/Kenny past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I would like to thank my awesome Beta - Blue_Night - for her work on this chapter and mostly for her willingness to continue to work with me (believe me, there is more corrected text than original version:-))
> 
> I will also write summary of my Alternative reality soon, for better understading of my work.   
> Than you so much for your kudos and comments, They are very appreciated and they truly inspired me to write more.
> 
> Have fun.

_Because  Queens have no patience and understanding about matters of heart, Kenny and Steve found themselves in front of Todd, who in fact ruled most of the ship. He looked very interested in Steve's words and onsidered  the blushing young scientist who stood behind him with a smile on his face._  
  
 _Todd knew Steve for a long time. He was well aware of his personality, which was NOT the most adaptable in the world and he was not sure that the little scientist would  be able to handle it. He had problems with Steve's explosive nature very often - but he also knew that Steve was so headstrong that no-one would  be able to change his mind._  
  
 _"He is mine, Commander!" growled Steve, annoyed with Todd's calm expression. "He agreed with my claim upon him!”_  
  
 _"I do not question your claim on him, I am just curious if you did not force him to do so."_  
  
 _Steve growled again. He never liked his words questioned. It was enough that their Queen did that often - he did not expect it coming from his best friend and his Commander. In his heart, there was no space for doubts, 'cause he loved this little Wraith from the day he first met him. He watched him all the time, waiting for the right moment to make the first move towards him and show him his love._  
  
 _"I would never-"_  
  
 _"I let him claim me consciously,"  Kenny said, nervously. "He did not force me to mate with him or accept him as my partner. I... really want to be with him, Commander."_  
  
 _Todd watched his subordinate who was certainly in love with the young scientist and sighed. He did not believe that Steve would ever feel love for him. The small Wraith seemed to return his second's feelings and he knew that he would not find one single thing to make him forbid this relationship._  
  
 _"Are you sure you can handle him? He is quite problematic", Todd chuckled._  
  
 _Kenny blushed. "Yes, Commander”, he said with his uncommon soft voice. Steve gazed at him, proudly, with adoration in his eyes - Kenny had never talked to the Commander, not before this meeting, and he actually defended their relationship._  
  
 _"Well, then there is nothing I can do. You should make arrangements soon to be moved to Steve's quarters."_  
  
 _"Thank you, Commander”, Steve said with a visible smile and Todd left. Steve turned to Kenny. The young scientist bit his lower lip when Steve touched his face. "So, you decided to be with me, on your own”, Steve sighed, relieved._  
  
 _"You offered me protection and love, a place to live. I would be really stupid to refuse."_  
  
 _"So it's just a game for you, then?" Steve's voice tensed._  
  
 _"No! No, I mean that... I really appreciate you liking me, but I am not sure about your intention. You did not tell me what you expect from me."_  
  
 _Steve growled and pulled the younger Wraith in his arms. He kissed his hair and smiled. "I expect  you to love me”, he said. "I want you to be my partner, my mate. I fell in love with you long ago and I gave you many gifts to make my intentions clear - I know you feel something for me, otherwise you would never accept my claim upon you. I want to take care of you and protect you! Not because I think that you are weak, but 'cause I want you as my partner."_  
  
 _Kenny smiled. "Well that was the longest speech I have ever heard from you."_  
  
 _"Shut up."_  
  
Kenny sighed and opened his eyes, still half in his dream and not in reality. John moved him from his prison to a room with a nice view and a big bed with many green plants and books around. When he had some time to his own, he used to lay down in bed and relax . That happened not often but it was much better than living in a cage. He quite enjoyed returning to this room and breathing the beautiful flower's scent.  
  
He also enjoyed most of the nights when he dreamed about his mate. These beautiful memories of Steve and his strong and undying love for Kenny. He also enjoyed to have a break from John's complaining about his pregnancy. The doctor denied him to continue with his duties and John felt bored, which was a deadly combination with questions from his friends.  
  
Kenny had already told John that he should talk to his friends about his pregnancy, but John was too scared to do that. There was nothing the Wraith could to, only listen, and it frustrated him.  
  
He chuckled and closed his eyes. There was still time to dream about Steve...  
  
+  
  
John was nervous. It had been only a few minutes ago, when Todd came through the Stargate and Weir already had stolen him for herself to talk to him about tactic and other things he was not allowed to know now... in his state. As if pregnancy was some type of disease which could change his opinions and disturb his duties!  
  
He had wanted to kill her when she had told him. They had never denied Teyla to know everything she wanted to when she was pregnant and just because he was male the pregnancy was different now. Dr. Weir said that it was because the child's other father was Wraith, but John did not believe her. He was glad to have Kenny around but the Wraith scientist was very busy to keep John's company every time he needed to, so he was grateful to have Todd here - because Kenny had told Weir that he needed his Commander to consult his research.  
  
"You are gonna pay for this, John Sheppard!" Kenny cried at the same time when Weir's door opened and Todd went out. Sheppard looked at a very angry looking Kenny and... well it made his day completely amazing.  
  
 The Wraith, who normally left a rather horrifying impression to every human just stood there wearing a black tracksuit and a venomously green t-shirt with the following inscription: **"Keep calm and love killing humans** " on it. Dr. Keller stood beside him, trying not to laugh, with fruit cake in her hands.  
  
"We wanted to prepare just a little birthday party with gifts for him but... I think he does not get it, Sheppard”, Carson said. "Mostly the gifts and well, I think it was wrong to let him drink vodka."  
  
"Yeah, Carson, that was the most genius idea you have ever had”, Sheppard shook his head in disbelief. A birthday party for a Wraith. So now he had to deal with his lover and his lover's Second, who looked furious and obviously was very drunk.  
  
Kenny frowned. "I would like to know what all of this does mean, Sheppard!"  
  
"Hey... HEY! Don't get angry, right? Its just some kind of a common human custom - this is the way we celebrate the day of birth, so every year when you get older your friends organize birthday parties for you with  a birthday cake and gifts for you”, John explained. "You do not have celebrations?"  
  
"So, it is normal for your people to play around wearing unbearable costumes, shouting and singing stupid songs, whistling and dancing around like handicapped drones?"  
  
"Uhm, yes?" John tried to calm him down, looking at Todd for help, but the Wraith-Commander simply enjoyed the scene in front of him with a big and crazy smile on his face.  
  
"Then I am not surprised why every Wraith prisoner of yours wants to escape or simply acts the aggressive way he normally does so you have to kill him! You and your people are crazy, Sheppard!" Kenny hissed and went away, angry and on the border of self-control.  
  
Sheppard frowned. "It went well, hm?" he said, sarcastically. "So, can anyone tell me what is really going on? Because making Kenny pissed off that way usually is impossible even for Rodney!"  
  
"We just wanted to make him more comfortable. He looks so sad most of the time..." Dr. Keller said with her typical innocent look. Big doggy eyes, yeah, that was something Sheppard was used to. "I did not realize that it would be to intimate for him."  
  
"Well, the damage is already done. By the way, how did you forced him to wear that t-shirt?"  
  
+  
  
"My Second in Command told me that there is some serious matter you need to discuss with me, my little one," Todd said sitting down next to Sheppard. He took his hand and entwined theirs fingers to show him his love in this for Wraith intimate touch. "It sounded important. I did not expect to find you to maltreat my crew."  
  
They were in Sheppard's personal rooms, with locked doors and without guards, sitting on the bed and Sheppard  already felt a nervous flutter in his guts unsure how to do this right. They were alone, yes, it was his dream, but... he was really scared, fearing that he would mess it up.  
  
In fact, he was unable to tell it his best friends, how he was supposed to tell Todd?  
  
He took deep breath and closed his eyes, stealing himself for the worst. "I am pregnant."  
  
There was long silence - Todd didn't move or say anything, just stared in front of him at some type of plant at John's table - and it was overwhelming. John felt fear, a big stone right above his heart which threatened to fall down and crush him and his hopes to dust.  
  
He wanted to have a family. It had happened, so there was no way back – he simply could not  kill the baby inside him. He already loved it so much he never thought it could be possible, and he wanted Todd to feel the same for their child.  
  
"Ohh yes. Your ATA gene," Todd said, quietly, slowly, like it was unbearable to believe. "The child you carry - it is mine?"  
  
John felt hopeful and hurt by Todd's words at the same time and his heart was beating faster. “How can you really ask me this question? Of course, it's yours!”  
  
His Wraith actually smiled and looked at his mate. He grabbed him and pulled him closer to his own body to feel him and taste his sweet scent, while he kissed his hair and said: "Thank you, John."  
  
"So, you are not angry?" John asked in disbelief after a few moments of silence.  
  
"No. I am not angry my little one. In fact I am quite pleased with the situation," Todd answered. The Wraith looked very happy and it was so uncommon, so fragile that John did not want to destroy it. "Don't worry, John," Todd said stroking his hair, gently. "I will take care of you and our child. You don't have to be afraid."  
  
There were tears of relief and happiness in John's eyes. "Kenny told me that you would be happy but I didn't believe him."  
  
"You really thought that I would put you aside and let you raise our child on your own?" Todd hissed angrily. "I would never do anything like that. You are my mate, my partner and I love you, my little one. I would never let you alone. When you are Wraith, your mate is your world, your reason to exist, to breath, to wake up in the morning and everything you want is make the world better for him. Your ability to give life is beautiful, John, never doubt that, and I am honored to be your mate."  
  
"I have never let you - claim me, didn't I?"  
  
Todd raised his eyebrow.  
  
"Kenny told me about your... mating customs. We talked a lot."  
  
"No, you never let me claim you, but our child inside you is the proof that we belong together, my little one. From now on, you are mine, if you accept my claim."  
  
John looked him in the eyes and smiled. “I do, Todd.”  
  



	4. When we're happy than we laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John never dreamed about this day, he never dared to. But it came and now and he is uncertain about everything, even his Wraith's feelings for him. How will Todd react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi darlings!  
> At first I would like to thank to my gorgeous beta! She is so patient with me, even when my mistakes are almost unberable and she inspires me to be better and write more.  
> At second I would like to thank to all of you who read my story so far and still like it! Thank you so much! Kudos and comments are very appreciated and I love them.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter too!
> 
> This chapter is devoted to my beta, Blue_Night.

They lay together in John's bed, cuddled up to each other after long, lazy love-making. Todd looked happy most of the time - especially since John had told him about his pregnancy a few days ago. John could see it, unlike the others who didn't knew him very well and mostly hated his Wraith companion. Of course, no one knew about their relationship, only Kenny and Weir, and the doctor knew about his pregnancy but not about his lover,  so it was quite a good secret.  
  
There was no real reason why they were so secretive about their relationship, but John was so unsure right now that he was unable to tell anybody else. He just wanted to be happy right now - close to the man he loved and father of his baby; his gorgeous Wraith Commander, who was so kind to him, since they had mated and the Wraith had completed his claim.  
  
The Claiming itself was very interesting - it required to be able to touch Todd' s hand and let it bite him a little into his own palm. It had left a permanent mark, the Claim upon him - he saw the same mark on Kenny's hand. John smiled and touched his bitten palm. "I would like to mark you as mine too. Is that usual for your kind to be marked in both ways?"  
  
Todd smiled. "Are you actually asking if there is some type of hierarchy between  a couple or if we are equal?"  
  
"Ehm, yes?" John said and kissed Todd' s hair. He loved touching his hair; it was so silky and nice to touch and smelled so good that John wondered what Wraith usually used to make their hair so wonderful smelling when they lived... well on a Hive ship.  
  
"There are many variations of relationships between our kind, John," Todd said and looked amused. "I marked you so you are under my protection. It means that you are mine now and I am responsible for your health and well-being, same as material security. You will have everything you need to and much more. Usually the one with the  better ranking takes protection of the other and this one then belongs to him. It's the type of relationship Kenny and his husband had. Kenny was under his protection, he was shielded by his mate's position of my Second - which is Kenny's current position.  If you want to know about this type of relationship, I am sure Kenny can give you quite good amount of information."  
  
"So we are not equal, then? I am yours but you are not mine?"  
  
If the Wraith had possessed eyebrows he would have raised one. "No, my beloved. We are equals and I surely belong to you. When we take a mate we are faithful. We mate once in our life and only when we feel that we have found the right one to be together with for such a long time we normally are when we have taken a mate. I was told that your... marriages can be divorced, but it cannot happen in our culture. I will never have another partner than you, John. You are my ultimate choice.  
  
John blushed and bit his lower lip. It was so crazy and wonderful that he was unable to believe Todd's words at first but then he remembered the pain he had sensed from Kenny before and he still could sense it. There was pity for Kenny in his heart, but now, he was so happy that he could not think about anything else than his lover and his words.  
  
He had always wanted true love, one person he could be able to give his life and love to, but human relationships were so unstable in this century and he could not imagine to fall in love and then be left alone. And now, there was this beautiful alien who just had told him that he would love him till the end of the universe. There was no way to believe it right now but he was sure that he would be able to believe it someday.  
  
He reached for his lover's face and kissed him hard enough to show him his affection. Todd' s sharp teeth were a challenge for him as always.  
  
"And what about our baby?" John said after one moment of hesitation. "Our future? I cannot raise a Wraith baby here in Atlantis. Weir tolerates our relationship but she is not quite happy with all the pregnancy problem, you know?"  
  
"Our baby will be Wraith, you cannot change this, but our child will be cherished and loved among my people, John, you can be sure about this," Todd gently touched John's belly with his feeding hand and smiled, when the touch made John shivering. "I am going to take you as my mate to my ship. You and our baby can live there, if you are not welcome in Atlantis after his birth any longer. I will always take care of you and it would be good to have you so close."  
  
"Its not me who will be not welcomed, but our child, Todd." John hissed and let Todd kiss him and made him feel secure again. It hurt so badly to hear that his child would not be welcome to live here permanently, 'cause it would be an alien baby, while Teyla was able to have here her family every time she wanted to.  
  
"Don't worry, beloved. You are mine now, and I will take care of you, always. I will never leave you or let you be on your own and without the care you need to live comfortable enough to be happy," Todd whispered and smiled when he kissed his mate and reached for a blanket. He wrapped John into the softness of the blanket and pressed him close to his own body.  
  
"Try to sleep, John. You need your strength, for you and for our baby. I will stay with you and I will guard you till you wake up."  


* * *

  
  
When John woke up, he still lay close to Todd 's body. The Wraith sat and there was a bowl of fruit in his lap; he watched TV with some movie John didn't know but it looked interesting at first look. It was quite pleasurable, waking up next to his lover and husband under the Wraith laws with Todd' s hand over his shoulders... fingers stroking him gently and with love.  
  
It was like a dream he had dreamed so often that he did not believe quite yet it had come true. Todd was there, in his bed, naked and he ate his breakfast. Well the last thing was not so good, because John felt like vomiting right now. He made face and frowned.  
  
"What's the time?" John said with his eyes closed and his face pressed to Todd' s tight.  
  
"Good morning to you too, John," Todd smiled, quite amused by John's first question. "Around eight o'clock. You should sleep more, beloved,  it is still very early and your body require rest. How do you feel?" Todd asked after he had noticed his pale skin. "Are you in any pain?"  
  
John shook his head a little. "I just feel like vomiting right now but it will pass if you will take the bowl away," he said with a smile. "I usually have no problems with your fruit cuisine, sorry."  
  
"It is alright, John," Todd smiled, tenderly, placing the bowl at the table nearby. "It is no problem. Just tell me and I will do my best to make you comfortable."  
  
"You are different now."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
 The Colonel bit his lip. "I do not know,  you... you are more caring and you are so nice to me. I am not sure if you are doing it because I am pregnant or because... you know... you actually like me or you have some evil plan in your clever mind and it makes me nervous."  
  
"Understandable," Todd said John's hair. He was silent for some time, just stroked John's hair again and again, before he spoke once more. "You are my mate, John. I do this because I really care about you. You are very important to me. Tell me what has happened that you are so uncertain about my intentions? What did I do to let you doubt so much about my true feelings for you?"  
  
Only a few seconds later there were tears in John's eyes. "Everything is so uncertain right now. Weir is angry with me because of my relationship with you and even more because of my baby and I cannot tell about my baby anybody else because I am so afraid that they will react badly and I cannot bear to loose my friends right now. I know I will have to tell them one day I just do not want to do it now. I cannot even tell my family that I am so happy and I found someone I like so much, because they even doesn't know that there is Atlantis or a Stargate... or aliens. And look at you - you are alien. I just cannot take you to my home and let you meet my friends, because you would scare them to death!"  
  
"Notwithstanding I appreciate your feelings for me, John, you are babbling," Todd sighed. He was unable to understand this, even if he was quite certain it had to do something with his partner's pregnancy and he choose to respect it. But he knew John needed his understanding right now more than anything else so he tried his best. "Stop crying, beloved. Please, stop crying. You need to eat and drink and after your breakfast we will talk to your friends, alright?"  
  
John nodded. Unfortunately, after his breakfast there was no time to talk.


	5. To guard the one you love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is quite sure that when you are happy there have to be more than two things which needs to go wrong. Well he does not like when he is right...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you will like my new chapter! I would like to thank my beta and all of you for support! Kudos and comments are welcomed!

"Perhaps we just need to let them meet with Sheppard. He can throw up and poison them with the smell."  
  
"I am afraid that it will not work that way, Rodney," Dr. Weir said and looked at John, who sat in the chair, pale and obviously suffering from morning sickness. It was not funny to look at as she was very concerned about John's health and she disagreed with the relationship between Sheppard and the Wraith Commander.  
  
"I do not understand why they want to send it back to us. If there is no other use for it anymore, then they should kill it." Ronon looked annoyed with the whole idea, but it was no surprise. Ronon was no Wraith fan at all.  
  
John was also not happy about this but there was nothing what he could do. It was an order and everything was settled before he could have said anything about this topic. He was quite aware of the look Weir gave to him when she told him about this and he knew it was because of Todd 's presence at the meeting.  
  
His team was used to Todd' s presence but Weir was always very intimidated by Todd. Well it was not like she wanted to kill him - that was Ronon' s job to do - but she was not pleased with the idea of a Wraith sitting beside her and eating fruit, which was the current state. John smiled noticing little braids in Todd' s hair with amusement. It was a tradition that a Wraith who had claimed a partner or who was claimed himself braided his hair to made it visible to everybody around. He had never realized that before  Kenny had told him a few month ago and now it pleased him very much to see Todd 's hair braided.  
  
"It is done and there is nothing we can do. Carson, please, prepare a bed at the infirmary and tell this to Dr. Keller. Our new guest will need medical care," Weir said. She was not in the mood to argue with Ronon about it. She looked tired and she obviously was not happy about this, too.  
  
"If I understand it correctly, you captured  a Wraith years ago and you... poisoned him with the Hoffanian' s virus," Todd started, "in one of the experiments of yours and then you took him to Earth to be able to experiment with him further? So you lied to us when you told me you do not have a cure for our Hives?" Wraith sounded very angry by this announcement and he stood up. He clenched his fists and growled.  
  
"No! No, we did not lie to you! We certainly do not have the cure you required! We had do put him into stasis and then we had to find a way to get the Hoffanian' s virus out of his system. It took us a long time to get there and it is specific to every Wraith being. We're not able find a remedy this way. We were able to cure Steve because we had his body and we were able to work with it, but we doesn't have capacities and staff to have every ill Wraith in Atlantis and take a good care of him. You need to modify it for every being and it takes time." Carson said nervously, his eyes fixed on angry the Wraith who slowly calmed down.  
  
Kenny, who sat next to Rodney, took the tablet from the working table and opened the file with the records of the case. "They are right, Commander," he said, slowly, while he read the file.  
  
"So I do not need to vomit at the expedition?" John chuckled. "I do not mind at all but Steve would not be pleased."  
  
Todd growled. "Steve?"  
  
"It is the name Colonel Sheppard gave him when he questioned him," Weir explained.  
  
"You really should start to ask every Wraith around you about the names you want to give them, Sheppard," Kenny said and smiled. This morning he wore the new shirt Carson had presented him with- John had heard that it was some kind of gambling between the two – the shirt was purple and there were words on it like on the other shirt, but the words were different: "I laugh in my mind so you cannot see it."  
  
"And you should do something about Carson' s t-shirt obsession."  
  
"Point taken, Sheppard. Next time, I will do better."  
  
It actually made Dr. Weir smile. "I think Kenny and Rodney should go back to the lab to look at the remedy we talked about few minutes ago. I am sure our Wraith-friends will be satisfied then. John, I want you to go to Dr. Keller to look at your... sickness. I need you in perfect condition. The expedition from Earth will arrive within an hour and I want you to be there. You have many experiences with this Wraith after all and you know how to talk to him."  
  
"Yes. It is not like it was quite long since I was threatened to die  a painful death," John murmured and stood up; his stomach protested but he suppressed it and tried to smile.  
  
"I am sure he will try to eat you  the moment he'll see you, but I believe that you are capable of protecting yourself, especially when Steve will usually be in the cage, Colonel."  
  
"Waw, that is quite soothing," John sneered ironically. "It is always fun to talk with edgy, hungry Wraith. Welcome in Pegasus galaxy."  
  
Carson smiled. "That could be a wonderful slogan on a T-shirt."  
  
Kenny's last thought was: 'What have I done to deserve this...?'  and sighed. One day, he would have his revenge - after he would have won this bet, of course!  
  


* * *

  
  
The Wraith scientist and Todd' s current Second had become nervous when he had read the data from Rodney' s tablet about the Wraith they had captured. His human friend was talking to himself and ignored his current state so he sat down next to the automate with drinks and ordered himself a big cup of hot white chocolate. He found this drink very soothing and close to one of the drink his husband had made him rather often so he enjoyed it very much every time when he could have a cup and drink it.  
  
Rodney was nervous, too. He did not like it when there was somebody more clever than he himself and it was very hard for him to accept that Kenny could do the work quicker than he himself. Of course, that would normally only be the case when they were working with Wraith technology which Kenny knew since his childhood, but Rodney did not take it in into account at all.  
  
So he was just pissed off and it was funny to work with him - well, usually it was fun for everybody around, but only for a few seconds before Rodney' s talks became annoying.  
  
Kenny had learned how to filter it, so he was only amused and not annoyed himself at the end and  he usually was able to stay in Rodney presence all the day. He actually didn't mind Rodney' s talk. It was quite pleasant for him, because he was used to silence from his Hive ship, where everyone talked through their mental network. It was a nice change.  
  
"Hey, Kenny, do you know what's wrong with Sheppard?" Rodney asked after a few minutes of silence. "The last time anybody vomited so often it was Teyla and she was pregnant, but Sheppard - he is never sick. Is it serious?"  
  
Kenny smiled. "Although I am well aware what is wrong with Colonel Sheppard, I am not allowed to talk about it, I am sorry Rodney. You need to ask Sheppard."  
  
Rodney shook his head and frowned. "I tried. He just said that he is not ready to tell us. Ready for what, for God's sake? It makes no sense, we are his friends."  
  
"Maybe he is scared, Rodney," Kenny whispered. "I am sure he wants to tell you, but he needs some time, Rodney. It would be good if you do not press the topic for now. He is really scared, so... give him time. It is no serious illness and he will be alright, so you do not need to worry about."  
  
"Well, how did it happened that you know it and we don't? We are his friends longer than you are!" Rodney said and he sounded quite upset about it.  
  
"I sensed it, because I am Wraith. His disease it not uncommon for us. We saw it many times before."  
  
Rodney frowned. "So I was right when I suspected that it is some type of Wraith disease? You bastard! You infected him with this so now he is so friendly with your kind because otherwise you would not give him the cure! I knew you are not trustfully, you bloody bastard!" he screamed, his fingers pointing to Wraith scientist.  
  
"I said it is common for us, not that we infected the Colonel with this, Rodney," Kenny answered calmly, although he was hurt by Rodney' s words - till now, he had though that they trusted each other, but obviously, he had been wrong.  
  
"You fucking piece of shi-!"  
  
"RODNEY!" Teyla shouted, angrily, when she came closer to the both men who were arguing loudly. "What is going on there? Why are you shouting?" she looked to both of them – Rodney' s face was red in anger and he looked like shouting and cursing again, but the Wraith was calm like it were not bothering him. But everybody knew that Kenny was the quiet, nice one, so it was no surprise for anyone, but seeing Rodney in this state was uncommon. He panicked often, but he never exploded like this.  
  
"Lady Teyla," Kenny bowed his head - he held great respect for this woman, although he did not spoke to her very often. He kept his distance, but he was nice and polite every time the situation required their cooperation. It was obvious that he did not like women near enough to hurt him, but it was because his experiences with several Wraith Queens in his past and Teyla did not blame him. She understood his situation.  
  
"Kenny. Nice to see you again. What it this about? John is not well and we can hear Rodney' s screams even in the infirmary," she said, her voice sounding suspiciously.  
  
"We just have had a little argument."  
  
"Little argument? You piece of shit! John is ill because of you! I know it and I will prove it one day, you will see! Wraith!" Rodney growled. "Get away! Both of you! I am quite sure you will start to protect him, Teyla. You are always like that - look at him, he is such a poor boy, his husband is dead and now he will live alone to the end of the eternity so we have to help him and make him  laugh again! But he is Wraith, Teyla! Wraith! A life-sucking monster and John is ill because of him!"  
  
Teyla was shocked but she did not show it. "But we do not know what is wrong with Sheppard. He does not want to tell us but it doesn't mean that it is Kenny's fault. Rodney, please, be reasonable and wait for John to tell us. Please!"  
  
"Planned activation from the Midway station!"  
  
Teyla sighed. "I think we should go, well - if you are expected, Kenny, and if Rodney can control himself. We can talk about this later. Our old guest is arriving and I do not think it will be wise to argue in front of him."  
  
"Of course, Lady Teyla."

 

* * *

  
  
"You look like you need this, Sheppard," Ronon said with smile and handled a paper bag to his friend. It was provocation, but Sheppard took it and actually thanked for it. He still looked pale and unhealthy but he had demanded his presence there even when Weir had told him that it could be better for him to stay in bed. Todd liked the idea to have John in bed under his care but it was not in John nature to lie down in bed when there was a job to do.  
  
Honestly, he hadn't expected, that his pregnancy would be so hard. Only a few days ago he had been so happy and now he just wanted to be dead and have a break from this nausea. His head ached too, but because of his pregnancy he was unable to took any painkillers - and he was not even sure that he would not threw them up if he would took them.  
  
John held his paper bag when the Stargate was activated. It felt so naturally to him, standing there and watch the beautiful blue color with sea structure. Todd touched his hand, briefly to offer him comfort and stability for a moment.  
  
Only a few moments later, the expedition which counted three soldiers, one scientist and the Wraith prisoner, came through the Gate. It was the point from which everything went wrong, at least in Sheppard's eyes.  
  
To see what had happened to Steve was terrifying.  
  
The proud Wraith was skinny and he was pale even more than Sheppard and Todd together. Under his sunken eyes there were big red circles from lack of sleeping and energy and Steve's beautiful hair were tangled and dry. It looked even worse than Todd' s hair and John knew that Todd in fact took care of his hair. He just liked it more this way than silky.  
  
Steve was ill, there was no doubt, and he was really starving. Probably even in pain from the look Steve gave to Sheppard. Todd tensed, when he saw the prisoner and growled a little.  
  
"You know him?" Sheppard whispered to his lover and Todd answered with a single nod.  
  
"He is my underling. In fact he was my Second before I was captured."  
  
It took some time for John to realize and put all the pieces together, but when he did, the realization hit him like a bullet to the heart.  
  
"No. It cannot be!" he said to Todd, sounding stunned and terrified. He was unable to imagine the gentle, friendly Kenny with this creature he had captured a years ago. It simply could not be true. Of course, his lover was wrong. That to be a mistake. "Are you sure? It is a long time, you can be wrong!" John felt like his world would be tumbling down on him every moment  
  
Todd growled again. Maybe, he had been imprisoned for a very long time but he was able to recognize his Second's face even if the Wraith was not in his best state. He was no fool. "I am sure, John," he said again, irritated and annoyed with his mate.  
  
"Fair enough," John sighed. He didn't like it - he could feel the problems in the air and he knew that Kenny... oh god, Kenny! What was he going to do when he would see his mate in this state? John could even not imagine that. Problems. Problems everywhere. He needed to get used to that. It was his life now.  
  
"Hello Steve," he said and came a few steps up to him. "I am glad to see that you like Earth cuisine, but I cannot say that you look better than before."  
  
"John Sheppard," Steve grinned when he remembered John's name. "We meet again."  
  
"Yes. It is not like I dreamed about our meeting every night for the last few years, but you know, even nightmares can come true. So, are you used to your name meanwhile, Steve, or do you want me to call you "I am your death" again? Because that was not very original."  
  
Steve growled, annoyed but mostly tired. He was really not healthy and the experiments on his body obviously had tortured him. It was the part of the military John hated but he could not change that. The Wraith took a deep breath and he lifted his head to look around. His eyes narrowed, when he recognized the face of his old Commander.  
  
"Don't be afraid. We have no wish to harm to you," John said coming closer to the prisoner. "Am I right that Todd... ehm, is your old Commander? Well he is the Commander of many Hive ships now and he is our ally so we are going to take care of you and we try to help you and ease the pain you're in."  
  
"Why should I believe you, human?" Steve said, almost immediately. "I trusted you once and you betrayed me."  
  
"Circumstances changed." It was the first time Todd said something to the prisoner and his words were gentle and full of feelings. John recognized this voice and he knew that Todd was deeply moved inside his heart, even if his face was expressionless. "You are under my protection now. Nobody will harm you."  
  
"And the Queen?"  
  
"She died years ago in a battle. We lost the ship. There was no way to save her." Not like Todd had wanted to save his Queen. John was sure that Todd was pissed off because of the crew he had had under his command more than about some Queen he obviously had hated. He didn't know the reason for this hate and the circumstances of her dead, but Todd had promised him to tell him what had happened in the past someday.  
  
Surprisingly (well, no too much) Steve looked pleased with this. "Very well."  
  
"Colonel Sheppard?" Dr. Keller said and showed him Steve's medical records. "I need to get our guest, this Steve, to the infirmary as soon as possible."  
  
John nodded. "Of course. I will meet you there, I just need to talk to Kenny. Todd, can you go with Steve? I think your help will be required. Thank you."  
  
When John came to the lab, Rodney was still pissed off and Kenny sat next to the coffee automate with his cup of hot chocolate while Teyla tried to talk some sense into Rodney. Both of them were shouting - Rodney even more than before when Teyla had tried to be as calm as possible in this situation. It took John a few moments to understand what the problem was.  
  
Well, when one thing went wrong, the others followed.  
  
"Teyla, Rodney, can you just stop shouting? I feel like my head is going to explode!" he complained when he was sure that they would listen him. They gave him an annoyed look and Sheppard capitulated. He had no energy to talk to them. Instead he went to Kenny and touched his shoulder. "I need to talk to you. In private."  
  
Kenny smiled. "Another secrets, Sheppard? Okay, I will do everything to be far away from this. I was not aware that Lady Teyla is able to shout like this."  
  
"You will get used to it. She looks fragile, but the opposite is the truth. The balcony?"  
  
The Wraith nodded and followed Sheppard to theirs favorite place to talk.  
  
"I have to tell you something."  
  


* * *

  
  
When Kenny ran into the infirmary, Todd stood beside his underling and helped him to remove his dark green shirt to let him change into clean clothes. Steve still needed a bath but he was too tired to do it now, even when waiting meant that he had to wait to feed, too. He barely stood on his feet and he required help even to sit down.  
  
Todd touched him carefully and with tenderness and tried to avoid to touch the sore spots or bruises at Steve's body, but it did not help much more. Dr. Keller would have to give Steve some medicine  to make him feel better and they were in the middle of waiting before the pills would start to work.  
  
"Kenny, Wait please!" John shouted from the stairs, but it did not stop the Wraith scientist from going to his husband. It had been a great shock for Kenny to hear that his husband was alive, but very ill and it was even more a shock when John had told him that it was John's superior's fault that Steve was almost dead, because Kenny started to believe them and now he felt like his trust to John's people was mistaken. He had demanded to be taken to his husband immediately, he even had begged. John had never seen any  Wraith in such despair.  
  
And now, Kenny was in the infirmary, in front of his husband whom he had thought to be dead for so long that he had gotten used to that though. He saw the damage they had done to Steve's body and soul with his own eyes and nothing, not even Todd' s warning look could stop him.  
  
"Sorry Todd. I could not stop him," John said and shrugged his shoulders when he leaned back to the wall and tried to catch his breath. Wraith were very quick when they were running and he had problems to catch them even when he was okay.  
  
After a few moments of hesitation, Todd smiled and he stood back to let Kenny  go to his husband. "It is alright. Come, John. We should let them leave alone."  
  
But John could not take his eyes from the scene before him. He had never felt so much emotions, seen so much love in the eyes of any being he had ever met, but now he looked in Steve's eyes and it was there. Devotion. Love. Happiness. He watched Kenny like if the younger Wraith was his sun, his moon, his entire universe. It was the look of  a person newly and deeply in love, although they were together for thousands of years. It was the look the Wraith gave to his Queen when she choose him to be her lover.  
  
And then, Kenny hit his face.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> I have in my mind single short story about Steve's and Kenny's past and I would like to know if you are interested in this idea? It would explain many things about Wraith culture, I hope, and of course there would be the evil Queen Kenny hates so much.  
> Please tell me if you are interested in this story?  
> See you soon!


	6. How to eat properly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John decided to tell his secret to Teyla. But it is never so easy, esspecially when you have crazy Wraith all around you and most of them (likely all of them) are absolutely unpredictable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG!  
> I had to re-write all the chapter and I was very busy with my school and my work. I am so sorry.  
> It is quite long chapter so I hope you will not be angry with me for long time.
> 
> I hope you will love Steve after this chapter - because my life-force belongs to Steve! :-D  
> Well, you can hate him too. He will enjoy it!
> 
> Thank you, Blue_Night, for your awesome beta!

From John's point of view, it was the most amazing and the most crazy day since he was told about his pregnancy. It happened almost a week after Steve's unexpected arrival, after a week full of annoyance and frustration on Kenny's side, amusement on the Todd's side and work and lack of sleeping on Dr. Keller's side.  
  
It was the day, when John realized, that if he wanted to make an uncooperative Wraith to do something else than frowning and growling, he had to close him into room with women and children and force him to talk to them and play with them.  
  
It was the day when John found himself sitting on the chair in Teyla's apartment with her and her son - and with a Wraith who sat on the floor with a little human child in his lap, which was obviously painfully pulling his long hair down so the child was able to cuddle to them and laugh.   
  
"Torren!" She said with a smile and she stood up to took her son into her arms. "Stop hurting Kenny! You know that it hurts him when you pull at his hair like this."  
  
Kenny did not seem as if he was going to protest against Torren's playing with his hair, but he gratefully handed the boy to his mother and sighed, relieved when he ran his fingers through his long, beautiful hair. "I really do not mind to take care of your son, Lady Teyla. He is gorgeous and he's a really nice companion even though he tries to stab his toys into my eyes, but I would prefer to be warned before he tries to do something like that."  
  
"Thank you, Kenny," Teyla said and she hugged Torren who had started to cry for his wraith babysitter. "You are always so amazing with my son. Actually, sometimes I worry if he does not like you more than me. Shh, Torren. Let you uncle rest a little so you can play with him later. Would you like to play with uncle John?"  
  
Torren wrinkled his little nose. "But uncle Johny does not have long hair! When I will grow up, I will have long hair like uncle Kenny and uncle Ronie."  
  
"Wait, wait!" John started. "I thought that you are no talking to each other? Well... Kenny mostly does not talk to women. What changed and when?"  
  
Kenny smiled when he remembered the sweet memory. "Lady Teyla's son once ran to the lab where I was working on some Ancient technology when he was supposed to sleep and Lady Teyla was away. He just wanted not to sleep alone and simply cuddled to my feet. I was unable to get rid of him, and he stayed with me all the night and fell asleep on my lap, so I was unable to even move to another computer. I was alone in the lab, so it was impossible to do anything. Rodney found us in the morning both of us sleeping in the chair and since then, I am afraid that I am Torren's favorite uncle."  
  
"There were no guards?" John sound surprised as Kenny shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Uncle Kenny! Can we play with my toys again? You will be the big evil monster and my mother will be the princess and I have to save her! Please, please! Uncle Kenny, I want to play!"  
  
Kenny grinned. "Well, the big evil monster? Do I have to roar?"   
  
"Yes! Yes! And you have to have a big teethes and be very, very dangerous! Maybe you can breathe a fire! And I need a horse! Uncle Johnny, you will be my horse! And I need a sword to kill the monster! Mama! Mama I need a sword!"  
  
Sheppard tried to take a breath. "Well, I do not know if-"  
  
"And after that I will make a pudding with uncle Kenny. Can I make the pudding again, mama? Please! I promise not to break anything!"   
  
Teyla sighed, but there was a big smile on her face. Torren was the light of her life and she was willing to do anything to make him smile and happy, as every mother who loved her child and John felt overwhelmed by the feeling he read from her face when she looked at her son and kissed him on his hair before he ran to Kenny again and jumped into his arms, laughing.  
  
"Of course you and Kenny can do the pudding again, but you have to ask your uncle if he wants to cook with you again, because the last time you were so self-willed when he tried to explain something to you," she said and Torren screamed, happily.  
  
 "Uncle Kenny! Will you make a pudding with me again? Please! I will be good and I will listen, I promise!"  
  
Kenny touched the short silky hair of his little friend and he nodded. "We can cook some pudding, Torren, if you want to," he said. "But your mum told you that you cannot eat from the pudding before you have eaten your dinner."  
  
"Then we will cook dinner first and I will eat everything and then we will make the pudding!"  
  
"Torren," Teyla said and stroked lovingly Torren's cheek. "I am sure Kenny does not know how to cook human food."   
  
"He does not eat?"  
  
"He does, sweetie, but he eats a different... food, you know?"  
  
"Hm..." Torren looked like he was thinking terribly hard. "So we can teach him how to cook?"  
  
Kenny looked surprised by the idea of him cooking anything human usually ate, but he did not protest against it. "If Lady Teyla thinks that it is possible, then yes, I would like to know how to cook, even when it will be hard for me to make the food presentable for your taste."  
  
Teyla smiled and she was grateful that her son was so curious about everything around him, and that he was observing and helping her with cooking almost every time she was in the kitchen. "Well, you can try to make something easy. What about pancakes?" She suggested.  
  
"That sounds great," John said. "I love pancakes."  
  
"Everybody love pancakes, uncle Johnny! They are delicious!" Torren smiled, obviously happy that he would be cooking with Kenny, who slowly stood up and sighed.   
  
"Oh yes, how could I forget such important information?"  
  
"It is no fun with you, uncle Johnny!"  
  
Teyla smiled when Kenny and her son left the room and after one moment, she turned her attention from the sounds from kitchen to Sheppard. "He grows so quick. He will be a grown up man before I will notice," she said sitting down next to John. "But you wanted to talk to me and you sounded so nervous about it. What is going on, John?"  
  
John's haunted look was all she got at the start. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Well... I am going to have a child."  
  
Teyla was quite surprised - it was visible on her beautiful face, when she answered. "Oh, waw. These are great news, John. With which girl? Is she  somebody from Atlantis?"  
  
John sighed. "No, Teyla. You do not understand. I am the one who is... pregnant," he said after one long moment of hesitation. "I... I do not know what to do now. I am so scared."  
  
There was a long moment of silence, broken only with the rumble and the laugh from the kitchen, where Torren tortured Kenny with cooking and right now, he was trying to made breaded Wraith with flour. Fortunately for Kenny, Torren was not quite an expert with pans so there was no possibility, that he would not only be a breaded, but a fried Wraith, too. The another thing was that Teyla had no pan which was big enough to fry an adult Wraith.  
  
"But John... that is impossible. You are a man. You cannot be pregnant!" She said after a while. "Oh, John. What has happened?"  
  
John laughed, but it was not a happy laugh. "Yeah, That is what I told Jennifer when she told me this, but unfortunately there is a thing with my genetics. I understood that because I have the ATA gene it is possible for me to get pregnant when I have... well a male partner. My body adapted and.. you know... God, it is so embarrassing."  
  
He buried his face into hands and tried not to cry because of the whole situation. Yes, he had a good support in Kenny and Todd, who cared for him greatly, respected him and did everything they were able to do to make John comfortable enough to be happy, but it was different with his friends. Above all - he was their superior, he could not be weak in front of them. He was so afraid that they wouldn't respect him any longer, maybe even hate him.  
  
"Oh, John," she repeated as she tried to understood the situation properly. "I am so sorry that you feel this way. Can I help you?"  
  
"I... I do not know. I am so scared and I do not know what to do."  
  
She came to him and hugged him with all the love she felt for him. "Does... Does the other father knows about the pregnancy?" When John nodded, she continued. "Well and how does he feel about it? Does he support you or not?"  
  
"He cares about me and my baby. He said that he wants the child and me too, he offered me a home and security, but... he never has told me that he loves me. Usually I do not know what he thinks or what he means with his words. He cares deeply for me, I guess, but... I do not know. I doubt everything right now."  
  
"This is normal, John. You are worried about your baby's safety and future. This is quite understandable in your situation! You should ask him about everything you are not sure and if he really loves you, he will understand and he will talk to you honestly. Who is the other father, John?"  
  
"Well... that is the weirdest thing at all," he murmured and relaxed in Teyla's caring arms. "It is Todd."  
  
For several minutes, there was only silence. Teyla looked at him, completely in shock.  
  
"Todd? The Wraith?" She made sure, her voice sounding disbelievingly.   
  
John nodded. "I know what do you want to say to me. That he is dangerous, unpredictable and no one can trust him. But... I was attracted to him since the Genii prison. I was unable to took my eyes from him and when he called for me I hoped... well when we started our relationship, it was only a sexual one - at least at the start. But as time went by, we started to really care about each other and I started to believe that it is more than that, but... I never talked to him about this at all. And now, there is the baby and Weir do not want my baby to stay in Atlantis when it will be born, so Todd want me to go with him to his Hive to live there. He promised me a long life for me and our child, safety for us both and a place to live.  A chance for my baby to live among his people who will care for it and love it. He mated with me. Claimed me as his own mate. Look," John showed Teyla his guarded secret – The mating mark on his palm, lightly visible.  
  
"He claimed you?" Teyla sounded very surprised. She had good knowledge of Wraith culture and she knew about the meaning of the mating mark. The ultimate choice. "Do you have any idea what it really means to a Wraith to claim his mate?"  
  
"Hm.. I suppose I do."  
  
"Then how can you question his love for you? I do not think that he is a wise choice but you can never choose who you will fall in love with and if he claimed you, he has to love you deeply. When Wraith mate they are unable to feel any sexual desire for anybody else than their own mate, again. Never again. He is devoted to you, completely John, for all the eternity."  
  
"He said something like that, but you can be never sure that he tell you the truth when you talk with him."  
  
 Teyla sighed. "It is an honor, John. When you're able to put aside all those things like killing people, the Wraith culture is very honorable and very interesting. You were not born in this galaxy like me and I grew up trying to learn as much about them as possible, so I'm able to understand them better than you. They are very devoted to their mates, they love them and cherish them in the same way they love and fear their Queens - completely, without hesitation. If he claimed you, you are now his universe, John, his law. He will do anything to make you happy, make you smile and everything to keep you safe. Do you remember the haunted look on Kenny's face when he came to us? It is what will happen to one of them when they loose their mates. Their life has no meaning after that. They seek only death or vengeance for their lover's life. You are now Todd's life. Do not question that, John. In your own way, you are very fortunate."  
  
"Huh. I really didn't know that," John said and he touched his belly with care and love. "So do you think that I can trust Todd?"  
  
"Of course you can, John. He claimed you. He wants you. You should trust him now with everything you need to," Teyla smiled. "He is practically your husband now. I cannot say that I am enthusiastic about it, but if you are happy, I am so happy for you, too. You deserve to be loved, John. Do not doubt that."  
  
John smiled. "I will need your help. I do not know what to do about my baby. I am not used to be near children - even Kenny is better with Torren that I am."  
  
Teyla laughed. "Oh John! It is not that Torren likes Kenny more than you. It is because Kenny is not here every time and he is not allowed to enjoy his presence when he wants to, but you are there always. Its is only natural that he wants to spend his time with Kenny more than with you when Kenny is at Atlantis. And Kenny is an alien. How interesting and exciting!"  
  
"All right, all right, I understand it now," John said and he tried to change the subject of the conversation. "Will the others arrive too? I heard that they are all invited to spend the evening with us."  
  
"Yes, they will. I also invited Todd. He and Steve are out to... feed. I heard that Steve feels serious ill and that they tortured him very badly. He also still suffers from Hoffanian's virus which causes him pains. They want to try to feed him to see if he will improve after this and if not, they will try to cure him in infirmary. It seems that he is very important to Todd."  
  
"He was his Second. Well I suppose that he will be his Second again."  
  
"Ah. I heard Steve calling Todd 'Father'."  
  
"What?" John said, surprised. "I'm sure you were mishearing."  
  
"Well, who knows? I would recommend you to ask them. Or you can ask Kenny before my son will seriously harm him in the kitchen," she smiled. "Torren loves cooking with Kenny, but I am not sure how much Kenny appreciates his special particular likings."  
  
"MAMA! MAMA, HELP!"  
  
There was shouting from the kitchen and just before that shouting, they had heard a loud crash and it had sounded suspiciously like if one of them had been falling to the ground and dragged some dishes with him. It was a shock for both John and Teyla, because they had been so relaxed and happy just a few moment before it all went wrong. Teyla jumped on her feet and ran immediately to the kitchen; John followed her after a few seconds when he realized what was wrong. He was not on a mission so he had not expected any problem.  
  
Not now. He wanted this day to be alright - he was so tired of crappy days.  
  
"Kenny! Kenny, what is wrong?" Teyla's voice was full of worries when she saw the Wraith huddling himself on the ground obviously in huge pain judging by of his facial expression. There was blood flowing from his mouth and also on his back - it looked like big, dark spots and they grew bigger every second; blood soaking into the cloth.  
  
"Go away," Kenny gritted between his teeth after he had coughed up some of the dark Wraith blood and he wiped his mouth with his hand. Torren was terrified to see his beloved uncle like this and he cuddled to his mother to seek a safe place. "There is nothing you can do. It will... pass."  
  
Although Teyla did not try to connect to the Wraith telepathic communication, she heard a growl from another Wraith coming to Kenny. The communication was forceful, so forceful as  she had never experienced before and it had been only a few minutes ago when she had realized that it was an emergency call.  
  
-Hold on. I'm coming-  
  
-Don't bother. I'll be all right-  
  
-Stop shitting me-  
  
She looked at Kenny who was visibly frustrated and in great pain - she was not able to imagine how much he had to suffer, because she had never seen any Wraith to show his discomfort before. "John. Go to open the door, please. Hurry up! I expect somebody coming to help him. I heard his emergency call," she said to John, quietly, so Kenny was not able to hear their conversation. "I will try to talk to him to let us help him."  
  
"Mama! Mama, what is wrong with uncle Kenny? Will he be alright? Mama?" Torren cried and he let his mother hug him more.  
  
"Don't worry, sweetie. I am sure he will be alright, okay? Do not worry," she said to her son and tried to look confident for him. She was well aware how much Kenny meant to Torren and she was half angry with the Wraith to do this to her beloved boy - but her worries were stronger than anger.  
  
It took some minutes for John to get to the door and only a few moments after he had opened it, another Wraith, he recognized Steve, rushed into the apartment. Todd came right behind Steve looking worried too. Todd grabbed John, pulled him closer and kissed him in the moment John closed the door. "Are you all right?" Todd demanded. "I heard Kenny's..."  
  
John did not let him finish the sentence. "I am fine. But Kenny is not. He is in the kitchen."  
  
"Where the fuck is the kitchen, human," Steve growled, annoyed with John and the place he did not know.   
  
Todd growled at his Second for insulting his mate so openly. John rolled his eyes. There was no time for Wraith idiocy. "Stop, both of you. The kitchen is this way. Two doors, then go to the right."  
  
Steve nodded and ran to the right doors to get to his mate. He was well aware what was going on and he was not pleased with whole situation. He had been in the middle of a medical examination and Dr. Keller had not been happy when he had jumped to his feet and ran away from her. He was surprised that there were no guards to hunt him down and take him back, but he had thought that it was not the case because Todd was with him to look after him.  
  
He heard Todd's and Sheppard's steps after his own as he rushed to the kitchen as quickly as he was able to.   
  
Steve frowned when he saw the state his mate was in and he ignored his protests when he knelt down near him to wipe the blood out of his face.  
  
-What have you done? Are you crazy? I told you not to overload your body. When did you feed the last time?-  
  
-Go away. I do not want to talk to you-  
  
-ENOUGH! I am your mate.-  
  
-Yes. As if you have cared the last few years.-  
  
-Stop talking this bullshit. Stop arguing with me and let me help you, you stubborn one.-  
  
Kenny coughed up more blood and he groaned in pain as he tried to huddle himself more and closed his mind from his mate's, but he failed with both and he started to be tired. The blood loss and the pain were unbearable for him and he was used to pain very well.  
  
-Please. Let me help you. Please.-  
  
-It hurts...-  
  
-I know. I will make it go away. Just let me take care of you. Please, my love.-  
  
Kenny looked at Steve with his tired eyes and nodded a little who immediately reached out with his arm and pulled Kenny closer to him, very carefully.  
  
"Human," Steve said to Teyla not really unfriendly, but also with no love for her which was not surprising, because her necklace had been the reason for his capture. "I need a bucket of water and towels... please. And a place where I can lay him down."  
  
"There is a sofa," Teyla said. "Torren go to your room. I will go after you when Kenny will be better, okay?"  
  
"Why can I not stay with uncle Kenny? Mama please, he needs me.  If he is sick, I want to help him."  
  
Teyla smiled. "You are so a nice boy, Torren, but Steve will take care of him better than you. You will help Kenny more when he has not to worry about you too, you know?"  
  
"Who is Steve, mama?"  
  
"Steve is Kenny's husband, you know? I promise Kenny will be alright, but you have to go. John, please, can you take Torren to his room?"  
  
Torren blinked, because he did not understand how a man could have an husband instead of a wife but he decided to ask his mother later about this special topic. He was a curious boy, but he understood that now there was no time for his questions. "Uncle Kenny, will you be okay?" he asked the Wraith hesitantly.   
  
John took Torrens hand. "C'mon, Torren. He will be fine. You can trust them, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Teyla sighed relieved as her son finally left the room and she grabbed some towels and a big container to fill it with water. "You can take him to the living room. There is a place comfortable enough to lay him down," she said to the Wraith. Both Steve and Todd took Kenny into their arms and followed Teyla to another room. "Lay him down here." She pointed to the sofa and she put the towels and the container nearby. "Why did you not called the infirmary? They can take care of him."  
  
"There is nothing they can do for him," Todd answered after a while. "Do you need me to help you?" He asked Steve and when the younger Wraith shook his head, he stood up.  
  
"Take good care of your mate. I will take care of mine." He said to Steve  
  
Steve nodded and Todd waved at Teyla. "Come with me," he said - he wanted to give his Second and his claimed mate some time alone, and of course a chance for Kenny to feel safe while Steve would take care of his wounds.  
  
"Of course," she said, because she understood his intention very well and after a few seconds, both of them had left the room and went to see to Torren to entertain Teyla's little boy and distract him.  
  
For the first time after Steve's imprisonment, they were alone with each other. But the moment itself was quite destroyed by the whole situation Kenny was in.  
  
-Where does it hurts most?-  
  
-Back-  
  
-As always-  
  
Steve sighed and he touched his mate's t-shirt.  
  
-I need to put it down to get to your wounds. How can you wear this silly thing?-  
  
-It is gift from a friend.-  
  
-I will try to not to destroy it then-  
  
Kenny gifted him with a grateful glance. The shirt was important to him and he loved it like all of the shirts Carson had gifted him with. They were really important to the Wraith who had been hated most of his childhood and whose self-confidence was so low that he doubted that it even existed. Steve, of course, knew all of that. Steve always knew.  
  
Steve very carefully stripped his husband to look at his torso and back. They looked disgustingly. They had opened wounds on many places where the pus melted with blood and damaged his delicate skin. In these moments, Steve hated their dead Queen and her favorite Wraith as much as he was able to.   
  
-How does it looks?-  
  
-Don't worry. I will make the pain stop.-  
  
He started to gently remove the blood and pus from the wounds.  
  
-Do you have inner pains? Does your abscesses burst?-  
  
-I do not think so. It is only in my back.-  
  
-But there is blood in your mouth, love.-  
  
-Perhaps some abscess in my stomach did burst but it will be okay.-  
  
Steve growled, irritated with a situation he could not prevent. He patiently cleaned his mate's back and when there were clean, he went back to the kitchen to soak the rest of the clean towels to put them on Kenny's back to prevent an infection before he would be able to apply ointments into the wounds to close them - even when complete closure would not be possible.  
  
Their fucked Queen. How much he hated her all his life for torturing his beloved mate in this way.  
  
-Sleep a little.-  
  
-Do not go away, please.-  
  
Steve smiled a little and he kissed Kenny on the temple of his forehead.  
  
-Do not worry. I will stay with you till you fall asleep and I will stay close even after that. I will also clean you precious t-shirt if you want me to. You can rest. I have gift for you when you will awake.-  
  
-A gift? You have had time to get me a gift? Thank you.-  
  
-Mhm. I hope you will appreciate it.-  
  
-My love?-  
  
-Hm?-  
  
-Never leave me alone again, please.-  
  
-I do not intend to.-  
  


* * *

  
  
"How is he?" These were the first words from Todd when Steve went into the Torren's room. The little boy slept on his mother's lap and he looked peacefully and tired while the adults were full of worries about their friend's health.   
  
Steve tried to concentrate. He was also full of worries, but also full of anger. He was furious. He had still some of his mate's blood on his hands although he had tried to remove it but he had not been successful and he still remembered the pain in Kenny's eyes. His beloved mate he was supposed to keep safe and protect him every time he needed to be protected.   
  
Kenny had been very special right from the start when Steve had been falling in love with him - it was the reason why his stone heart had opened and welcomed him. Kenny was different. Not because he was originally from another Hive, but there was something in the way he looked, in the way he spoke and how he moved. It touched him. His cruel nature. It had locked him into Kenny's eyes and had not released him until now.  
  
Never.  
  
"He is better but he will be fine when the pain will pass," he said after a moment when he had decided that it would be better to speak with them and give them the information. "Some of the pus spots inside the muscles and his inner organs burst and they infected the healthy tissue around but I was able to get the pus out before it had done much more damage. I am not sure about his inner organs because he did not allow me to inspect it, but he would have told me if there was a problem, I guess. Some of his stomach abscesses burst too - that's why he vomited blood, but I am quite sure that none of the other wounds are open."  
  
"Good,” Todd said. "He will need to feed as soon as possible. I will give him some of my strength. Keep yours to your own wounds, I am sure he will not blame you if you will not be the one to cure him a little. And apart from that we do not know if your own suffering would cause more pain or damage!"   
  
"Yes, Commander. I wanted to give him my strength, but I thought about that, too, and I was afraid to cause him more pain because I don't know what my disease would perhaps do to him. I would be honored if you will do that for me, Commander.”  
  
“Of course, second. It will be my pleasure.”  
  
Todd nodded and he touched his second's hand. He was able to feel Steve's worries through their strong connection and he knew that it would not be over soon.  
  
"Did he suffered in this way when I was away?" Steve asked a few moments later.   
  
Todd shook his head. "I kept him from harm. Since I returned to our Hive, he was my Second and I never let him do any mission, only the administrative parts and I commanded him to feed as often as possible. You don't have to worry."   
  
"The Hive's crew let you to have him as your Second?" Steve sounded very surprised. "They know very well about his condition."  
  
"And they respect him a lot. He was your mate most of his life and they are used to him. I know it is not common on other Hives, but my crew obviously prefer leadership they can trust to."  
  
"So he was protected?"  
  
"With all our strength."  
  
Steve visibly calmed down after these words and he was finally able to sit down next to his Commander, but also the door to the living room.   
  
Teyla was terrified - partly - because she was unaware what was going on. She had never seen something like that happening to a Wraith. She did not know that Wraith could be ill and she had not known the illness Kenny suffered from before. But before she had the chance to ask, John did.  
  
"What is wrong with Kenny?" He said. "And do not tell me nothing because I am not going to believe it!"  
  
"No one would expect that from you, Sheppard." Todd smiled and touched his hand, gently and lovingly. "It's a very long story. It started a long ago, when Kenny came to our ship-"  
  
"You cannot do this, Commander! He does not need to know all of this!" Steve protested and not very politely. He was still more a wild animal, because of his long suffering on earth than the Wraith he had been under Todd's guidance. But maybe it looked like this because Todd was mostly a scientist and not a warrior and they were used to Todd's scientist way to look at things and his scientist part of crew. They never had had close contact with any of his warriors although they knew that there had to be a lot of warriors on his Hive.  
  
"He does. Kenny and John have become real close friends and John is my chosen mate. You will treat him the way you would treat any Wraith I had chosen to be my mate! You will honor him and protect him as much as you honor and protect me. Your status does not matter here, do you understand?" Todd said in a hard tone to his Second. "You can be my first born son, but it is all you are and you are more valuable to me like my Second-in-Command than the spoiled child who cannot accept no one at my side but his mother, who, I unfortunately have to remind to you, decided to leave me and therefore left you, too."  
  
John was rather confused by their conversation, although he understood it very well and the little pieces of puzzles started to fit in. "Wait, wait, stop! I do not care about your arguing. What is wrong with Kenny then?"  
  
"You see?" Steve growled, annoyed with a grim smile on his face. "You want him to be a part of our family, but he even does not care about it!"  
  
"Enough! I will tell him what he needs to know!" Todd growled back. Steve narrowed his eyes but he calmed down and relaxed. There was no point in arguing with his father who outranked him so much. Instead he growled at Teyla when she looked like she wanted to say something.  
  
"Well. At first you need to understand that Kenny is not from our home Hive. His own Hive was defeated by us and he is the only one who survived the torture after we arrested the surviving crew. He was originally educated in my own way - to be partly a warrior and partly a scientist. He loved both, but I think he enjoyed the fighting more than anything else. He excelled and our Queen decided to let him live and she gave him a position among us when he proved his loyalty. He worked at the lab, mostly, but he was not accepted by the crew, because he was not a part of them, not a part of the family. They used him like a worshiper, for their desires of flesh and other things. I think he hated his life in those days. That was before Steve asked him to accept his claim to him," Todd said with a little smile when he remembered the past.   
  
"Kenny did. I think he did that because he wanted to make his place secured and he wanted to be safe from the rest of the crew but also because he liked Steve. Steve had never hurt him, actually, and – and that really surprised me - he was very nice to him right from the start. But the Queen did not like it. She wanted to claim Steve for herself. I was too strong to be her puppy but Steve is my blood and so she wanted to have him. As you know, when we mate, we are unable to feel sexual desire for anybody else than for our mated one so she knew that even if she would kill Kenny, she would be unable to have her way with Steve. So she decided to punish him in another way. She sensed the feelings Steve felt for Kenny and so she decided to use that. She abducted Kenny and  tortured him for many months.   
As you know by now, there is a specific liquid we use when we mate - it is a liquid that will made our mating marks visible for all eternity. It simply prevents the mark to heal so there will be a sensitive scar. The Queen poured this liquid into Kenny's wounds so they cannot heal any longer. They stay even when he feeds. There were many bacterium when she tortured him so his wounds are full of pus and when he has not fed for a longer time and he overload his body, his abscesses with pus break and it hurts him badly. This is why he is unable to fight. It is very easy to kill him or hurt him and when this happens he needs others to take care of him. Otherwise, he would die."   
  
There was a long heavy silence when John tried to understand it all and Teyla was so shocked that she felt so sorry for Kenny like she had never felt before. It was obvious that Kenny suffered every day because of the pain from the torture and so many things about him -  the hate he felt for Queens and women in general - were understandable now.   
  
Teyla was also very impressed with Kenny. She had known him as this broken Wraith, lost, without purpose because of his lost, and now she admired him. His strength, his courage, his ability to live his life with such a burden.  
  
"It is my fault," Steve said eventually. He looked as if he was lost in his memories and there was great pain in his expression. "He suffers because of me. The Queen wanted to make it impossible for me to mate with him and let me suffer with my unfulfilled desire for him and therefore tortured him.”  
  
"No one blames you," Todd argued gently as he tried to calm his Second. "He did not."  
  
"But I blame myself."  
  
"Stop with that bullshit," Kenny suddenly said standing in the doorway. He looked very tired and weak but there was a little, happy smile on his nice face. He was a very  beautiful Wraith judging by their standards even when he was not in his best state. "There was nothing you could do. I survived. You took care of me. There is nothing I could blame you for - even if I was so angry with you at the start and I hated you so much. You proved your worth as my partner many times since that day and you showed me that you deserve a partner. I am proud to be yours. Do not make me regret it."  
  
Steve stood up and went to his mate. "You should not walk. Your wounds need rest and you too," he said very gently and John narrowed his eyes in front of this obvious and unexpected change in Steve's behavior. Steve stroked Kenny's cheek and pulled him closer to kiss him.   
  
"Commander," Steve said after he broke their kiss. "I will take my mate to his room. He needs to rest. I will let Dr. Keller have a look at me later, after I  took care of... Kenny."  
  
"You are dismissed. Both of you till the end of the week. Then I want you both in your best state to take your duties in full."  
  
"Thank you, Commander," Kenny smiled and he leaned against his mate's body. "Sorry for the towels, Lady Teyla. I will get you new ones."  
  
Teyla smiled. "Do not worry about this, Kenny. And if you will be able to come, you are invited to dinner today? Pancakes and pudding, remember?"  
  
"How could I forget?"  
  
"Pancakes? It sounds awful... is that even eatable?"  
  
"Steve!" With these words they left.  
  



	7. Wraith politics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every Wraith have a family. Todd too, but... his brother is scary. Big and scary. And crazy too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi beloveds!  
> I hope you will like this chapter! There will appear a new original character, who will be very, very important for this story.  
> Please tell me your opinion!
> 
> At the end, there is sex scene so.. I warned you!!!

There was no single day  John did not hate his living with a Wraith Commander, because when you were mated to such important person, problems were your second name.  
  
But sometimes it was also beautiful and crazy, too. Just like today.  
  
"Shiriahn, your welcome is refreshing - as always."  
  
The voice was sarcastic and deep, but as beautiful as the Wraith himself. He was tall and slim, but very muscular with a highly tattooed skin. He only wore the usual black pants and high boots, his chest was exposed to everyone's sight, covered only by a few straps which hold his weapons - two long swords on his back.  
  
He was a warrior. That was clear to see right from the start for everyone.  
  
Proud, strong, with a deep look and surprisingly black hair that fell down to the ground. He was accompanied by two of his crew-members  who were covered with black fabric and only the ends of their white hair were visible.  
  
And he seemed to know Todd very well.  
  
In fact, it was Todd who had invited them over because of some research material he wanted from this Hive. The Hive was a huge one, probably with many dangerous warriors on board but Todd did not seemed afraid of this special Wraith. He was obviously no threat to him.  
  
The unknown Wraith looked highly amused because of all the weapons turned at him and threatening him with a quick death. He acted like it was common for him to be treated this way, which was the most interesting thing about this single Commander - well, when you were able to forget the look of his eyes.  
  
John shivered.  
  
"I have not expected you to answer my calling," Todd answered as he went down closer to his guest. "You are supposed to hibernate."  
  
"What I am supposed to do and what I do are two different things, Shiriahn. I thought you should know that by now," with these words, the Commander looked at Weir who was in charge here and she obviously was not pleased with this situation. Ronon was angry as well, but it was no surprise. "My name is Sin," he said with a wolfish grin and everyone was shocked.  
  
'Wait! Wait!,' John thought. 'Wraith DOES have names? Really? What the fuck!' He did not realize that he had said that aloud 'till he felt everybody staring at him. Todd actually smiled.  
  
"Yes, John, we do have names, but we did not like to share them with others. Sin finds it funny to say his name aloud, but most of our kind do not share his view."  
  
John frowned and he crossed his arms over his chest. He felt embarrassed under the cold look from the other Commander.  
  
"Todd told us that you have some important information that can help us with our research," Weir said. She wanted to end this as soon as possible and for once, John agreed with her.  
  
"That depends."  
  
Weir raised eyebrows. "That depends on what? I am not sure if we are willing to bargain with you."  
  
"On what you are interested in. I have many unique data on my Flagship but Shiriahn did not specified your needs any further."  
  
"I want full access to you scientist database," Todd said. "There is data you have no use for but I could use it to help me with our research. I do not want to steal any secrets including your ship-database or how it is built, I only demand what you have offered me years ago."  
  
"You know the rules for using the Keeper's database. The data has to stay at the Hive and it cannot be moved to another Hive or database. If you want to use my data, you need to complete your research at my Flagship."  
  
Todd frowned but he knew that there was no way to break this rule. He changed looks with his pregnant mate who stood near Weir - John looked amazing today. His swollen belly was hidden behind his loose black t-shirt which suited him well and he smelled like a sweet fruit in the middle of summer. And he was Todd's. He still did not understand how it all could have happened. He hadn't had one serious relationship since Steve's mother had killed herself many thousands years ago and he had not married her so it was not such a serious thing as Steve thought. One-night stands with his crew-members were more usual for him than long-term relationships.  
  
And now, he had a real mate.  
  
He, who had sworn that he would never succumb to another being, had taken a mate to care and cherish for and he could not hate himself for it. John lifespan did not troubled him, there were many ways how to make a human mate almost immortal – the Gift of Live, for example - but sometimes they argued because of their different cultures and opinions. Todd enjoyed their arguments but when he was told about John pregnancy, he was more concerned, because it was not well for John's health.  
  
And he found himself afraid of losing John. He was scared as hell.  
  
There was another reason why he had called for this Commander. He trusted him. Sin was his own brother, the one who had raised him and loved him unconditionally since he was born. He also had helped him to take care of Steve, when his baby boy was born and Todd was grateful to him.  
  
And his Flagship was the safest Hive in the whole galaxy.  
  
Sin was Keeper Commander. He was without a Queen, who died a few years ago, when the Atlantis expedition had killed her and destroyed her Hive so Sin was the Commander-in-chief, to answer only to himself. Under his command was an alliance which counted around twenty Hive ships.  
  
In Todds culture, there was one single rule: Never attack the Keeper's Hives. Keepers were the only one who looked after the galaxy when the other Wraith were hibernating. They were here to awake them and the Flagship was the one Hive to keep safe all of the Wraith knowledge.  
  
No one would dare to destroy this Hive.  
  
And it was the most important reason why he had called for his brother. His Hive was right now the safest place for his pregnant mate. There was a big medical library, too, with information about male pregnancy he wanted to study and also a library with the research about their feeding process which could help Dr. Keller with her treatment.  
  
He wanted to study it all.  
  
Sin was well aware of his look and the reasons behind Todd's calling. He was able to feel Todd's scent from the young dark-haired human Colonel and he felt their connection - and the baby.  
  
"Okay. Then we will go to your ship," John said after a long silence. "Rodney, I want Jennifer to go with us. Ronon, Teyla, go to prepare yourself. I think it will take some time so take everything you need."  
  
"John, I do not think that you should go," Weir said quietly only for John's ears. "You are pregnant and... how can we trust this Wraith? We do not know him."  
  
"Todd does and he trust him. He would never do anything to harm us - and if anything will go wrong, you can always say: 'I told ya.'," John shrugged his shoulder. He was not happy about this at all - the black haired Commander was more scary than any Queen John had ever met, but he trusted Todd to keep him safe. He was his mate and if he had learned anything from all of these long conversations with Kenny, he was now Todd's priority - and he would be that for the rest of his life.  
  
Weir signed. "Fine, but if he will betray us, it will be your fault."  
  
John thanked her and went to Todd as everybody else from his team was gone to prepare for living on a Hive ship.  
  
"Are you sure we can trust him?" he asked, nervously. "I do not want to question your motives, but is that really necessary?"  
  
Todd chuckled. "Do not be afraid, beloved. You are my mate, no one will dare to hurt you. Sin's ship is a safe place, you will be fine there, I promise. We can take Kenny with us if it will make you feel more secure, but I would recommend to let him stay at my Hive with Steve. They need some time to rebuild their relationship and I do not wish to see any of them hurt again."  
   
"Is Kenny better?"  
  
The Wraith nodded and he gave John a little smile. "You should go to prepare yourself for the trip. We will stay on his Hive for a few days, so take anything you need. I am afraid there is not much human food on Sin's Hive, so take as many food as you need."

* * *

  
  
Sin's flagship was really... huge.  
  
John had never seen such a big Wraith ship. They always thought that there was a limit for Wraith ships but this one looked like there were no limits applied when it was built - Todd had mentioned something about the ship secrets but John had not paid attention - now, he regretted it. This ship was amazing.  
  
There was a big possibility that he would have to live on a Hive for the rest of his life. His mate was Wraith and his child would be Wraith too, so he was supposed to start to acclimate. He was not scared, he just.. he was quite sure that he would miss daily sunlight. Todd had promised him that he would be able to leave the Hive every time he wanted to and if there was the opportunity to, but John was not sure if that would be enough.  
  
This Hive was also... well.. empty.  
  
"Most of my crew is in the hibernation-chambers," Sin told him when he asked him about the lack of the crew. "Also the crew on my other Hives. Only a few Wraith are needed for the Keeper's ship to work and if there is  another possibility than to stay in open space, we choose some planet and we hide there until we are awaken and needed again. This way."  
  
He took them to their rooms. Ronon and Teyla had gotten small single rooms and they looked very comfortable, with a bathroom and a little kitchen. For Jennifer and Rodney Sin had chosen one big room with a double bed. After he had taken them to their rooms, Sin gave them some time to settle in on his Hive and to prepare all they needed to for the research.  
  
"This is your old room," Sin said to Todd when he nodded to the big purple door. Then he looked at John for one long moment, curious and thoughtfully.  "I suppose that you and your mate want to sleep together. If there is anything you need, like medical attention for you and your baby, special food or anything else, everything you need is to ask. I am used to have Todd's progeny running around my Hive, so do not worry. My crew is ready to help you."  
  
John paled. "I..."  
  
"I will tell no one, do not worry. My little brother informed me about your situation before we arrived on my Hive."  
  
"Wait, you said... brother?" John raised his eyebrows in confusion. "You and my mate are brothers?"  
  
It made the black-haired Commander smile as Todd shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Yes. He is not talkative about his family, am I right? I am his older brother. Since our crazy father blow himself up in his lab, destroying half of the Hive and killing most of the crew in the process, I raised him."  
  
"Wait, your father blow himself up?"  
  
"Well, he was quite mad. But I do not blame him. I would kill myself too, if a Queen like our mother would want to breed with me. Unfortunately, Shiriahn obviously inherited his desire to poke with things that can be potentially hazardous. I spoiled him."  
  
Todd chuckled. "You are not able to spoil anybody, Sin."  
  
"What can I say? I am my mother's son. Always willing to kill, but unable to praise. Do not mention my absolute strange taste in the choice of sexual partners."  
  
"You should find a mate, Sin. Fucking with your Second during work-breaks is not healthy," Todd said, with a big grin on his face. He obviously enjoyed this conversation with his brother and John did not blame him. Sin was... strange and scary, but if you were able to spend some time with him, John could believe that he would start to actually like him. He had a special kind of humor and John appreciated that humor.  
  
Sin cocked his head. "Find a mate? I will think about it, little brother. Now go and get some sleep. I will awake our librarian to help us with your research."  
  
"Still having problems with the digitization of documents?"  
  
The black haired Commander sighed, obviously angry with the situation. "In fact, we have more problems with the storage space. Such an amount of data slows down the searching speed rapidly. Most of our database is still on tangible carriers."  
  
Todd nodded. "It will take time to find everything I need, so thank you for your willingness."  
  
"What are older brothers for?" Sin smiled. "Go to your bed for a proper rest, in the meantime I will arrange everything."  
  
With that, the Keeper's Commander left them in Todd's old room. When the door closed behind him, John could not help himself but smile.  
  
"You brother does not know how to wear t-shirts?"  
  
Todd burst out laughing.  


* * *

  
  
Kenny rested in a big bathtub in his rooms on Todd's Hive and smiled slightly. The water was full of his favorite lavender oil his husband had given to him as a gift a long time ago and he really enjoyed it when he was finally able to relax. His long, beautiful hair was spread in the water and he played with its ends with his fingertips. His hair was smooth and silk as he touched it and he loved it this way.  
  
His hair was actually the only thing on his body he really took good care of. Of course, he wanted to look as good as he could for his mate, but his hair was his own little obsession.  
  
In the water there was a small bowl with fruit flowers. It was a very special plant species - flowers with little pieces of fruit you could to eat if you peeled out the white petals. They were sweet with a full taste which stayed long in your mouth so you were able to enjoy it for a very long time. The taste was difficult to describe, but is was something between peer, apple and kiwi.  
  
He took one of the flower and he started to carefully peel the petals out.  
  
"Enjoying your bath?" Steve showed up in the doors. "You look lovely. Maybe I should not let you stand up so I could watch you till the rest of my days laying naked in front of my eyes."  
  
Kenny laughed and he opened his eyes, full of warmth. "Your duty ended? I am glad you actually know what the end of the work means," he said. "And don't think about that! After a few hours my skin would shrank and would be not very nice or even nowhere near as comfortable."  
  
"I was babbling," Steve answered quietly, coming closer to the bath to have better access to his husband. He took off his coat and he sat down on the tub rim. The only other cloth he wore was a thin black shirt and comfortable trousers of the same color.  
  
"You are overdressed," Kenny pointed out as he looked as his mate's shirt. "Maybe if you will take that off, you could join me in the bath?"  
  
"I would love to, but I had my shower before and... I originally wanted to take you to our bed and ravish you. But if you prefer bathing over sex, I can live with that, too."  
  
Kenny crawled out his tongue at his husband and splashed him with water, who smiled lightly. "Give me my towel, then."  
  
"I prefer you naked."  
  
"But the water-"  
  
"C'mon, beautiful. The bed will withstand a little bit of your lavender water," Steve said and he bent to his mate's lips to kiss him properly. "Mhm, you taste so sweet. How do you do that?"  
  
"My little secret. If I'll tell you I'll have to kill you," Kenny purred into his lips and he entangled his wet fingers into Steve's hair as he pulled him closer. He answered to the demanding kiss with his own tongue and then he smiled. "Well, you will have to kidnap me, 'cause I am afraid the bath is my cruel captor."  
  
 "You say that because you are lazy and you want me to pick you up."  
  
"Mh-hm."  
  
Steve laughed and he took his mate into his arms pressing him to his own body as he picked him up; his nose overwhelmed by the lavender oil's smell. "Are you happy now, beautiful?" He whispered into Kenny's ear. Warm water soaked his shirt, simply drying his mate's pale, smooth skin.  
  
Kenny wrapped his arms around his husband. "Well, I think you can ravish me now," he murmured and let his husband take him to their large bed, full of Kenny's beloved pillows and blankets. As Steve carefully laid him on the sheets he kissed him lightly, teasingly on the top of his nose. "Be gentle to me."  
  
"I am always gentle with you, beautiful," Steve murmured when he laid himself between his mate's thighs and started to push inside Kenny's warm body. He did not need to use lube - Wraith bodies were able to produce natural lubricant and prepare itself for penetrating when the Wraith was aroused. He sucked Kenny's skin with his lips and tongue as his mate loved it to make it all better for him. It had been so long ago that they had had sex for the last time so he wanted to make it good for his mate.  
  
Kenny moaned and arched his back, as Steve thrust inside him and dug his fingertips into the skin on Steve's shoulders. The older Wraith kissed him hard, passionately, his lips demanding  him to completely surrender and accept his lover's desire and Kenny loved to obey. Steve was everywhere. His hands touched his oversensitive skin, his  lips demanded his attention, his hard, muscular body pressed against his own, much smaller one.  
  
It was overwhelming and awesome, to finally feel him once again and have not to worry that he would be ripped out of his arms again. Kenny swore that he would never let him go away again. He wanted, needed him as close as possible, to feel his breath, his heartbeat 'till the end of eternity.  
  
"Ohh, please, more," he moaned after several slow, long thrusts which filled his body until he thought he would go mad. Steve's tongue carefully traced the side of his neck when he felt his smile on his skin.  
  
-Begging me, my love?-  
  
-I... y-yes-  
  
-I wanna make you mine again.-  
  
-I am... I am always yours.-  
  
-Till you will scream my name.-  
  
-Love, please!-  
  
-I love when your body is trembling with your desire to be fucked, beautiful.-  
  
Kenny let his husband bite him carefully on his sensitive neck as Steve groaned  with desire and quickened his thrusts. They became a little less deeper but they provided more sensation. Kenny wrapped his arms around his mate's neck and pulled him closer, cuddling up to him to be as close to Steve's hot body as possible. He fulfilled  his wish and hugged him, keeping him in place as he fucked him senseless.  
  
"More!"  
  
Steve grinned and started to thrust as quick as he was able to. Kenny's body was shaking with pleasure, his lips one moment opened and then closed as he was gasping for air. The skin, cherished by the oil only a few minutes ago, was sweaty.  
  
-Yes. Scream for me.-  
  
It did not take either of them long time to reach their climax. Sex hadn't been in their vocabulary for so long that it was overwhelming and it attacked their pure senses with such  strength that they were unable and unwilling to fight against it.  
  
Steve took a deep breath when he collapsed next to his mate's body right after he had gently pulled out of him. He propped his head on his hand and with a smile he looked down to his mate - he was only a little tired and he really enjoyed the look at Kenny, whose eyes were closed and who looked so fragile with the parted lips, swollen by  his hard kisses, the sweaty skin and thin body.  
  
"Do not look at me like this," Kenny said after he was able to do so.  
  
His mate smiled widely. "And how do I look at you?"  
  
"As if you want to eat me."  
  
"That would be waste."  
  
Kenny chuckled delighted.  
  
"By the way, beautiful, don't you usually need to open your eyes to know how I look at you?"  
  
"Asshole."


	8. the one neither good nor honorable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd and the rest of Stargate expedition enjoy their afternoon "tea party" with talkative Wraith Commander and Sin has a proposal for John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> Thanks to my wonderful beta and all of you who left a comment under my story.  
> Your support means a lot to me and without it I would not be able to write.
> 
> Unfortunately my school exams period started so updates will slow down for a while. I am so sorry, I will try to write as much as I can but school comes first.
> 
> Enjoy!

"It will kill me," Teyla complained, as another bundle of documents fell down on her overloaded  table. Sin's Second only sighed and shook his head with disapproval as he looked down to her.  
  
He was of slender shape and he reminded more of a Queen than a male Wraith, with his... pretty androgyny face and long wavy hair, but his look was as strict as his lips. His name was unknown to the Atlantis expedition, but John had suggested that they could call him Rani.  
  
At the first time John had called him like this, the Wraith had rolled his eyes with resignation. Obviously, he had been warned before about John's way to name the Wraith he met.  
  
"I am sure it will not, but I really want to highly recommend you not to try to play a paper war and not throw the documents on each other. I do not plan to clean your vomits when you will make yourself a concussion." Rani said when he put another bunch of papers on the table. "I expect that you will be able to sort these documents till the lunch. They cannot be exposed to the air for a long time."  
  
"Are you crazy? You just come there, give us a thousands of pages to work with and then you just walk away? We are free people, not some worshipers of yours, you filthy faggot," Ronon frowned angrily as he sat near his table which looked even worse than Teyla's. On the other side of the room, Rodney excitedly read all of the documents the Wraith had given him and cried with joy. "Why can I not be such a info-freak like Rodney?"   
  
"Because someone needs to be tortured. Or there will be no fun at all," Sin answered from the other corner of the room with an amused smile on his face. The Wraith Commander sat on the sofa and he carefully listed in a big book, searching for every record of documents which content could be relevant to be brought and examined in detail.  
  
Ronon growled. "Says the Keeper. Sorry for not to believe you."  
  
Sin exposed his perfectly shaped teeth in a big, open smile. "The irony does not suit you," he said. "Being a Keeper is an honor... but I am neither good nor honorable so I do not find my work so amusing as you think I do. But is is work and when you are immortal you need to do something to not  get mad with boredom."  
  
"Commander, the Record Book needs to be returned into the library in a few hours. I highly recommend to-!"  
  
"You are always so bossy, darling," Sin sighed as he returned to the book. "Why do you just can't leave it for our sexual exercises later in my bedroom?"  
  
"Because if I would do that, you would become fat and lazy."  
  
Sin rolled his eyes. "I have my own nutritional and muscular-skeletal consultant. How happy my life must be..."  
  
"Just shut up and work, Commander. I do not have all day for playing you a rack."  
  
"Brother mine," Todd started from the computer station. He always knew where to work and what to do to have it all as easy as it was possible. "Where is yours: 'I will never let anybody rule over me!'? I think your Second makes a good broom for your floor."  
  
"I need to make my life a little more sweet, Shiriah, since I have no mate of my own to make me furious with demands and expectations. But - I thought about your idea of getting myself a mate and I think it could be the most intelligent thing I heard from you since you said: 'All of the Queens should be castrated'."  
  
"Yeah, right now I remembered why I moved from your Hive. You are unbearable. How does your crew survive your presence? Having to be your underling I would have committed suicide long ago."  
  
"You're such a charming boy, Shiriah."  
  
Todd chuckled and returned to his job. Searching the data and collecting it to be usable for later was his favorite job when it came to the Keeper's database. Especially - there were no papers to be killed with.  
  
"I always wondered," Teyla said to the Second in Command. "Are all Wraith as open in the questions of their sexuality as it seems to be right now, or is it just your Commander? I do not remember any sexual hints from Todd or any other Wraith I've ever met."  
  
Rani sighed. "No. We usually do not share our preferences, but my Commander is... well, he is not the right type to be supposed to be the shining exemplar of our species."  
  
"Another reason to kill them all," Ronon murmured from his table. "Where are Jennifer and Sheppard, by the way? If they expect to get lazy when we are working, they are wrong."  
  
"John is not well today," Todd answered carefully. "Jennifer said that she would stay with him till he's getting better and she would come to help us then. We should work instead of the meaningless talking."  
  
Between Todd's complaint about the slow process of working and Sin's laugh, a tall Wraith came to the room. One half of his hair was shaved and the second one was braided into small braids. "Commander," he addressed his supervisor, polite enough to speak aloud so every human in the room was able to understand their conversation. "The... Queen is angry and she threatens us with punishment. We ignore her, mostly, but it's getting annoying."  
  
Sin sighed. "Didn't you have tied her up as I commanded? She is in the prison, why do you have to talk about this every single morning?"  
  
"The crew is restless. They do not understand why we keep our Queen in such a place and they demand her freedom from you."  
  
The Commander shook his head as he looked at his underling. "She is just a child, not a Queen," he said after a moment while he gazed into the eyes of the other Wraith with a very unfriendly expression. "I will keep her locked till she will learn how things usually go at my ships. Our last Queen understood the terms of our treaty very well so I see no reason that this one should be different. If this... Queen wants to speak with me, you are allowed to take her to me, but otherwise I recommend you to stop up your ears and shut your mouth."  
  
"You keep your Queen in prison?" Todd seemed as surprised as the rest of the Atlantis expedition. Even Rodney looked up from his documents and starter to pay attention to the conversation.  
  
"You know as well as I do that the Keeper's flagship cannot be without a Queen. Since the last Queen died in an explosion which destroyed one of my Hives, we had to search for another one. This one is only sixteen years old, just a child. I will not be ruled by a child, Shiriah, no way" Sin said. "I had a good relationship with the former Queen. She respected my autonomy and my control over the alliance in exchange of her position and comfort as well as my friendship and my body, if producing another Wraith was needed, but this one," Sin sighed. "This one is young and rude and unwilling to accept any compromises."  
  
"I cannot imagine any Queen to just let the male Commander rule her ships only for a position," Ronon murmured.  
  
"Being the Keeper's Queen is a great honor, Ronon Dex," Sin answered to his disbelieving voice. "We often consulted with each other every single important decision, so she was not parted from her power, but I was the one in charge."  
  
"I heard about the explosion," Todd said. "Sorry for the loss of your lover. Stardust was good for you."  
  
"He was the one who choose to look after our Queen if I had been the one who would not return. We knew the risk, but I miss him badly."  
  
"You should have mated with him. He would have deserved it."  
  
Sin smiled a little but it was a very sad one. He presented himself like a shining, crazy, talkative Wraith with a good mood and a friendly nature, but sometimes his eyes turned cold and his expression was sad and full of grief. There was more of him under his mask than only the face he presented to the expedition and with so many thousands of years he was living, the grief and sadness were to expect, but to expect it did not mean that it was less hurting if you saw it.  
  
"Yes, I should have to, but he deserved more than someone like me, Shiriah. I am a selfish, cruel person. I would never have been the mate he would have deserved to have."  
  
"He was like a second brother to me. It is unfortunate that I had no chance to say goodbye."   
  
The Commander nodded, the sadness still visible on his beautiful features. It was not usual for Todd to open up so much in front of Atlantis expedition, but now it was quite different. They were his mate's family and he was used to have no secrets in front of the ones who belonged to him and his brother's presence helped him to feel comfortable.  
  
He remembered Stardust from his time as a child. Their mother had never cared for them and their father had died when Todd was very young - he even did not remember how his father looked like - so Sin was the one who had cared for him, fed him, and loved him as a parent loved his child. Stardust had been Sin's lover since Sin was twenty years old so by the time Todd was born, they were together for more than five hundreds of years.  
  
There was not much Todd was willing to say about Sin's dead lover. He had always been kind to him and in the meantime he had kept Sin in check so he had not ended insane. Todd had not spent so much time alone with Stardust but when he had been with him, he had admired his calm, calculating personality when he had taught him how to play along in Wraith culture.  
  
Todd would never have survived such a long time without Stardust's lessons.  
  
"We should talk about some  happier topic," Teyla suggested. "You know, Todd. Talking in work is not so bad. It is better to work this way."  
  
"You humans look as if you needed to talk every second of the day," Sin smiled at her. "And I am just afraid that if I will decide to let myself be inspired by your approach to life, I will end with a sore throat."  
  
Sin's Second sighed. "Just continue with your work. I have not joked when I told you about the limited time of access before the data will start to corrupt itself. If you need to talk to each other, so be it."  
  
For a few seconds, Todd wondered why his brother did not find somebody funnier as his lover, but... in the end, watching Sin's amused face was worth any price.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Todd told me you want to talk to me in private," John said as he looked at the Wraith Commander who had come inside Todd's old room only a few seconds before. "Did you find the data?" he asked as he sat on the bed. He was pale and his stomach hurt a little, but Jennifer assured him that his baby was alright so it was just another complication of bearing an alien baby in a body not created to bear children.  
  
Sin nodded and closed the door after him. "I brought you lunch. We have a very young Queen on this Hive and we have plenty of food so just ask for it if you are hungry. Its not healthy to eat only protein snacks during a male pregnancy."  
  
John raised his eyebrows. "You sound like someone knowing plenty about the topic."  
  
"I was around when the Lantheans were there. Only Shiriah missed all the fun, by the way."  
  
John grinned. "I am sure he regrets it."  
  
"He should, but you can never tell when it concerns him. He is.. quite unpredictable."  
  
"Todd told me that you have no Queen," John said carefully. It was dangerous to interfere with Wraith politics and hierarchy. Sin convulsively smiled as he put down the big bowl with lunch for his human guest.  
  
"When he contacted me, we did not have Queen, but we found one when we explored a Hive wreck near our pastures so we took her in. Keeper's have the rule to never be without a Queen if there is the possibility to have one."  
  
"You do not seem to be happy with this rule," John chuckled. "Todd hates Queens, too."  
  
The Commander shrugged his shoulders. "There are plenty of things and rules I hate but I need to live with them, Colonel Sheppard. I am not happy with my brother setting his claim upon you, because you are fragile and weak and one day you will die and then he will be miserable and suffer. I am also not happy about living on this ship or being a fucking Keeper. There are many things in your life you cannot change, Colonel Sheppard. You need to live with that," Sin gave John's belly a knowing look. "But I think there is nothing more I can tell you about this topic, huh? Get pregnant by my little brother and without courage to tell even your own people, because you are so afraid that they will hate you, or your baby and they will demand for you to abandon your child."  
  
"You are one of the most talkative Wraith I've ever met," John said, half angry and half hurt by Sin's words, mostly because they were true. "I will never abandon my child. Or your brother."  
  
"I think you really believe in your words, Colonel Sheppard," Sin said as he set his cold eyes upon John. "You are a good person and my brother is happy with you more than ever, so I have a proposal for you."  
  
"Proposal? Which one?"  
  
"You wish for your baby to be safe and protected, loved by its people and I wish for a mate I can trust to. A mate who is not ruled by the Queen, who was raised to be independent and who will not be with me for my power to influence me for his own goals. Let me mate your child if it will be a boy, raise him as well as you can and I can promise to you that when he will be born, there will be twenty Hives standing behind him, keeping him safe from all enemies you can fear. I can provide your child a safe, highly ranked place among my own people. It is a reasonable deal, Colonel Sheppard."  
  
John narrowed his eyes as he grew angry. "I will not make a deal over my unborn baby! Todd is more than able to take care of both of us!"  
  
"Really?" Sin teased. "Do you remember as I do how often he gets his Hives to explode, destroyed by illness or worse? Do not think wrong of me, Colonel, I am just trying to help you. I believe that Todd really wants to see you and your baby safe, he did that once with his first born and I am sure he can do it again, but how long will it take before he will grow bored and he will risk his life again? You know him I do. He is unstable, always calculating and talking in the riddles. He is like our father - somewhere inside him is a death wish and he is trying and trying and one day - not today, not tomorrow, but one day, he will blow himself up, just like dad. You cannot stop him. We are a cursed family, Colonel. There is madness in our veins."   
  
"How do you dare to talk about Todd in such a way?" John burst out. "He may be a little unstable and unpredictable, but he is my mate, my husband! He will keep me safe, I do believe him!"  
  
"He WILL try, Colonel Sheppard," Sin said calmly. "He always does. What I offer is a safe place for your son to live on in the future. Protection for him and for you, a union for both of our alliances. With my Hives standing behind you, your family will be safe. Is that not exactly what wanted, Colonel?"  
  
John bit his lips. He understood the offer, but still... it was the life of his unborn child he bargained for right now and it made him uncomfortable. Sin offered safety and John knew Wraith laws well enough to believe that he really meant it. "Todd know about this?"  
  
"Yes. It is the reason why he invited me, I believe."  
  
The Colonel frowned. He did not like it when Todd planned things for both of them and did not share them with him. He hated this side of his mate, but he knew that it was Todd's personality - to keep his secrets and plans hidden. It made him angry once more.  
  
"What... what do you plan with my son?" he asked, putting his palm protectively on his swollen belly.  
  
Sin smirked. "When he will be born, I will leave my mark on him. We will seal the treaty with my mark. When he will be old enough to bear a children, I will claim him. Not before, I promise, to prevent overloading his body. You have the ATA gene and there is the possibility that your child will inherit that. There is no mention of the progeny from the type of relationship you and my brother have, so we need to be cautious."  
  
"I will not let you take my child from my arms. He is mine, Commander. If I... accede to the treaty, I will be the one to raise my child. Me and my mate and our family. You will not have him! You will be allowed to visit him but nothing more."  
  
"Indeed, Commander. I would never part a child from his parents arms. Of course I will take care of him and I will bring him many gifts to make my intentions clear as it is common to do and I will treat him with respect and love just as he will deserve it. You do not need to be afraid, I will cherish him," the black haired Commander went closer to his brother's mate and without asking, he touched John's belly. "Maybe you wish a choice for your son. Maybe even love... but believe me, there is nothing stronger than the Wraith urge to protect and adore their mates. If you will let me mate with your son, I will make him happy. I will be mated with him till the end of the universe and I will do anything for him. Think about it, Sheppard. It is always better to have a strong ally on your side to protect those you love most. It is your choice."  
  
John swallowed and he raised his head. "You said that you are the Commander of all the Keepers."  
  
"Yes. This is the flagship of our alliance and I am its Commander."  
  
"But you have a Queen. I am not sure I want a Queen to rule my son. Your Queens are more unpredictable than my mate and they are cruel to their subjects. How can my child be safe there if Queen will be above  even your position?"  
  
There was a big, cruel grin on Sin's face as he cocked his head and smiled. He was crazy, indeed. "There is no Queen stronger than me, Sheppard. I ruled all the Queens I've ever had. My mind is too strong for them to control and I am more clever than to let them win against me. Do not be mistaken, it is me who is in charge."  
  
"So my son will be safe from any threat, even from your Queen then. I understand that there is a position system, that if a high ranked Wraith takes a mate, the mate gets a higher rank among his people, usually he is the rank under his mate. Which rank my son will hold?"  
  
"He will be right under me. He will not be my Second immediately, because my crew and other ship's Commanders need to believe in their leaders, but later, there is the possibility if he will be a fighter. Unfortunately, there is no way a scientist could be my Second and this is the true reason why my brother left this ship, but scientists are more than welcomed there to work in the library and labs. He will hold a high rank, Sheppard," with these words, he gently stroked Johns belly with his fingers. "I would be honored if you will let me mate with your son. You will not get a better option. I am part of the family and your mate trust me. I have a strong alliance and high position among all my people as a Keeper and I will always respect your parental rights."  
  
John observed Sin's hand as it touched his shirt and the belly under it. It did not feel as uncomfortable as he had been afraid at first, but it was also different. Todd touched his belly often, kissed it and caressed it with his palms to let John and the baby know that he loved them both so much, but when Sin touched him, he shivered.  
  
"Will you honor me to mate with your son, John Sheppard?"


	9. return from paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... where John reveals the truth about his belly, Ronon meet very uncomon Wraith he can ever have conversation with, Rani will surely pounch Ronon's nose and Rodney will do something wrong - again.  
>  Oh, and don't forget, there will be lot of "shit" word. Please, be cautious, it can eat you! :-D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are. After two long and (especially for me) hard months.  
> I really did not expected that it will take soo much time for me to write it, but the bussines with my illnes kept me from completing the written bit and pieces of the chapter. For this, I am sorry.
> 
> I think, my beta, Blue_Night grasped the chapter in this sentence: "I'm not sure if I changed it right, but I had no clue what you wanted to say and tried to change it so that it would make sense." which can let you imagine how bad it is with my writing right now :-) I usually do not remember "what the poet wanted to say" too which is pretty bad when you think about it :-)
> 
> There is only one sad thing - in next few chapters you will have to deal with (not permanent) loss of a few characters - more informations under the chapter.
> 
> In the end of my (I know very, very long so you are bored right now) talking, I want to THANK to my gorgeous beta, Blue_Night - and, by the way (because my writing is so hard to cope with... just remember my monologue before) her beta as well!
> 
> Thank you so much!
> 
> Where would I be without red and pink? (private joke)

Ronon felt incredibly uncomfortable on Sin's Hive. It was not because of the crazy Commander who annoyed him most of the day and sucked all his energy from him by only being next to him - Ronon hated Hives. The purple-colored ships with tunnels and full of organic materials; strangely straight floors in contrast with curved walls all around him made him furious. Especially, when there was no way out.

 

"Are you lost?"

 

Ronon shivered as he turned left to face a beautifully shaped Wraith (Ronon slowly got the idea that Sin did not choose his crew by their abilities, but for the way they looked - or maybe he wanted to impress the expedition and he awoke only the handsome part of his crew?).

 

"Yes," he said after a while of hesitation. He did not feel the need to talk to any of Sin's crew-members, but the situation required it. "I was supposed to take these documents to the library, but I have no fucking idea where it is."

 

The Wraith chuckled. "You are on the wrong floor. This way you will only get you to the lab and to the prison. I do not recommend it. Our new Queen is quite intimidating when the food she cannot eat is present."

 

Ronon frowned and he carefully examined the Wraith before him. He was not too tall but very slim, dressed in a long vest and tight pants. His clothes did not leave much room for the imagination, but it was kind of refined and the Wraith wore it on purpose. There was a tattoo on his face, mostly on his chin, creating a thin black line which beautifully defined his features and made them sharper. His hair in the back was cut above the shoulders looking almost shaved, while in the front there were two long strands on either side cut somewhere around his waist.

 

"And you are?" Ronon finally asked, because he was unable to classify him into the system of the local command. He was too slim and fragile to be a warrior, he did not share the arrogance of the scientists and he definitely was no drone.

 

The Wraith smiled coming closer to the human visitor. "I am the librarian here. I take care of the documents and records and our history as well. My Commander awoke me so I would be able to help him with the research you came for. And you must be Ronon Dex. They warned me that you are dangerous and hate our kind so I should stay out of your way."

 

"Well, then I can give you this shit." Ronon sneered contemptuously and he handled the documents to the Wraith. He took them with a light smile, which made him look surprisingly young although Ronon was quite sure this one had to be a very old one.

 

"Thank you. I will take care of this. Do you require my help to get to the floor where your room is? Our Hive is quite dangerous if one does not know how it is built. It is easy to get lost and I do not think that our Commander is willing to share the plans of construction so you can move about here safely."

 

"Your Commander is a foolish idiot." Ronon snarled angrily

 

The Wraith sighed. "He seems to be, but he is more complicated than you give him credit for, Ronon Dex."

 

"I am not here to listen to anything about your Commander. I am quite sure all of you are sitting up on your asses every time he shows up, begging him to fuck you."

 

"I am impressed how highly you think of us," the Wraith said in a mocking voice and he smirked as if he knew more than he cared to admit. "Maybe I should leave you here all alone to see if you die or if you will find the way out. I'm sure that could be very amusing for me."

 

Ronon narrowed his eyes and he opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, he was interrupted by the Wraith's laugh.

 

"You know, Ronon Dex, there is one thing I appreciate in you. You see us as the way we are. Beasts, monsters, life-sucking creatures. We are all like this, most of the time. Our world created us, shaped us to be predators. Our nature makes us compete with ourselves till our enemy is defeated. But on the other side of things, humans are much the same. You wage wars with each other, killing your own kind every day. I spent most of my time in a library, counting deaths, writing down reports of wars and conflicts between our people and yours and I hardly remember one day your kind did not fight and kill. Maybe it will be hard for you to accept that, but without the feeding problem, we would be the same as you."

 

"We are not like you," Ronon growled, irritated by the Wraith's words. He did not believe him, even when he saw the logic in the Wraith's words. There were many similarities between the human's and the Wraith's nature but he did not want to see them. He just wanted to hate all Wraith, blindly. He did not care about words - his people were dead because of these creatures.

 

The Wraith smiled gently with empathy. "No. Not in your eyes. There is deep grief inside your heart and you do not wish to heal, because you are afraid. Why are you afraid, Ronon Dex? Do you fear that you will forget if you forgive yourself? I am old enough to know that those we love never leave us. They are in our memories, in our heart. Cherish those memories, Ronon Dex. Do not make your memories haunt you any longer. You are the living legacy of your people. Think about them, how much they loved you. They would not wish for you to suffer like you already still do."

 

"You have no fucking idea what my people were like! They were fighters! Proud and honorable and they did not deserve to be just food for a few stupid Wraiths!"

 

"No one deserves to die, Ronon Dex." the Wraith said in calm voice. "I wish there were another way to feed. You know, we also fear death. We like to talk about ourselves as some immortal creatures, but we are easy to kill when we are vulnerable. We have so many years to live, but we always know that there has to be an end. For you kind it is easier - you are limited by your heart, diseases. Your life can't continue for hundreds of years, but for us, who look to the universe and to the future... we do not know what to expect. So we cherish every single day. It is not easy but it is the only way to survive."

 

Ronon swallowed, not sure how to answer to that calm statement. Suddenly, he wasn't convinced if he believed in his own words any longer. This Wraith was different - so passionate, so wise and somehow even kind and understanding, but he was still an enemy. He felt so many emotions in his words although he tried hard to suppress them that he almost hated himself when he eventually opened his mouth to speak. "Maybe you should just give up and die."

 

The Wraith's face saddened. "Maybe we should." he said after a long moment seriously. "But I like to think that our life has a meaning. If we just surrender and give up our hope and let madness and helplessness rule over us, where is the meaning? There has to be a reason why we still exist, Ronon Dex. Every single being has his purpose in this universe. This is what I do believe in."

 

Ronon bit his bottom lip as he listened to the Wraith librarian nervously. He did not want to listen - he repeated that to himself again and again, but he did. The words of the Wraith had found a way to his mind and to his heart so quickly. No one else had ever cared about his feelings - everybody had just thought that he would be strong enough, happy enough and cool enough to get over the loss of his people after such a 'long' time. Even Teyla did not talk to him the way she used to.

 

He understood. Everybody was so quick to think about him what they wanted as he loved to be seen as a strong and stable individual, but it wasn’t so. He still had his demons that haunted him and sometimes it was hard to keep up the image everyone expected him to hold.

 

"Do you have name?" he asked the Wraith quietly.

 

The Wraith smiled. "Yes, I have a name, but I do not like to share."

 

Ronon nodded. For most of the Wraith, their names were quite intimate topics. "Then I will give you one." he said then and cleared his throat. "Maybe we should go to the library. It is late."

 

+++

 

His life was a misery. Every time he thought that it would be fine, something went wrong - now, he was here, in the Pegasus galaxy, far away from his home world on a ship of full of fucking old creatures with their scary Commander who had to be crazy. No one else would think for even just one second that he would sell his unborn child - yeah, he forgot to mention that HE WAS PREGNANT FOR GOD'S SAKE! WASN'T THAT WRONG AND CREEPY ENOUGH? - for military support with a husband who obviously also thought that it would be the perfect number one solution!

 

Not to mention a very angry Elizabeth Weir back in Atlantis, who hated all Wraith, being really unhappy with the idea of an alliance, even if she considered it as profitable.

 

Yeah, his life was a misery, but was that really the reason why he was screaming and throwing things now at a man he loved unconditionally? Yeah, it was. It was the greatest reason he _could imagine._

 

By the way, ignoring the shocked looks on the faces of his crew... it was priceless.

 

"How dare you, Todd! How dare you!" he screamed after the cup (from the evening two days ago it had been full of some kind of soup, now it obviously worshiped Rodney or Ronon like the creator of their bacteria universe - how much to say about his friend's tidying abilities?) smashed above Todd's head. The Wraith was quite calm and it made John become even more angry.

 

"And I trusted you, you know? I thought that it would be all right now, that we could be happy a little, but no! You have to ruin everything, don't you? I hate you, Todd, do you hear me? I HATE you!" Another piece of furniture was thrown at Todd, who avoided the collision with elegance and a stoic look. "It is our CHILD, not some THING you can sell when you think its profitable! It's a living being! And it's also mine, and you did not even bother to ASK me before all of this! Why?"

 

Rani in his corner chuckled a little, because it had been the type of reaction he had expected to come from Colonel Sheppard for some time. Of course, he was familiar with the unspoken treaty between his Commander and Todd and he thought it very... unwelcome as a change in the Keeper's leadership (but no one ever listened to him, so what did it matter?). On the other side, to see Commander Todd with a cup smashed almost on his head was a very funny type of entertainment.

 

"Child? What child?" Rodney said from his corner, almost buried beneath old books, with a really terrified look on his naive face. He blinked a little when he saw the swollen belly (it was quite visible because of the tight shirt John was wearing. John had not cared about changing his clothes from his pajamas to other, more appropriate clothing, when he had run away from Sin's presence to have the greatest opportunity to yell at his husband). First, he had thought that the thicker belly had been the result of John's appetite but now, it was clear that it was the other way around, the belly actually was the REASON for John's increased eating. "W-what? But it is not possible..." he stammered. "A... and with T-Todd?"

 

"Really, and I thought you were the stupid one. Very well done, you little detective." Rani said in a mocking voice. "Great, if everyone is done with the shouting, maybe we could return to-"

 

"No, we are not." John said angrily with his eyes and attention still full on his partner. "You really have nothing to say to me? I thought I meant something to you? Me and our son? So why do you act as if you care the hell of the shit about us? Say something!"

 

"It is the safest way to secure our son's well-being in the future." For a moment, it was the only thing Todd said. "This Hive... I did not tell you, because I did not want to hurt you like this. I wanted you to meet my brother and then talk about this topic with you. Was he the one who told you?"

 

"Do not act like you are a saint! You lied to me, you deceived me! Don’t you dare lie to me now!"

 

"John," said Todd as he stood up and made a few steps towards his mate. "Please, calm down. It is not the best for our child to have you so angry, so, please..."

 

"I will NOT calm down! You cannot even imagine how much I am angry with you now!"

 

"Please, you are hurting our son, John." Todd whispered, now a little more worried about his child and husband. It was not good for John to be in this state, to be so angry... so full of emotions which shook his body and his mind.

 

It seemed that Todd's words about their child were the only argument that was able to actually calm John down a little. He breathed hard and put his arms protectively around his stomach. "Why, Todd? I thought you... you loved me." John said sadly, as if he was close to start crying.

 

The Wraith took another step towards John so he was able to touch his belly now and stroked it gently with his fingers. "I love you, John," he said truthfully, looking into John's eyes. "I do. So I have to protect you. I thought it would be the best solution. I always wanted and I still want the best for our child. A safe place to live in and people who will love him. I am so sorry if I hurt your feelings."

 

John was shocked. It was the first time the Wraith had admitted that he was in love with him. That he truly loved him as John had hoped he did. He loved him - his Wraith, who was so strange, so unpredictable, so... caring, was in love with him, as well.

 

And he even said it in front of others!

 

So... John thought... it is the end of hiding, I suppose?

 

Todd took his face into his rough hands and kissed him tenderly, mostly to Rani's amusement, Teyla's happy smile, Rodney's shocking surprise and... Ronon's... disgust? But if John would have looked at his friend in this very moment, the only thing he would have seen, would have been a deep sadness.

 

But John was not able to pay attention to anyone else than his husband, who was kissing him with his beautifully shaped lips and dangerous teeth behind them, teasing him gently and carefully with every single movement. He enjoyed the kiss to the full and when it ended, there was a happy smile on John's face. "I love you too," he whispered nervously so no one else could hear them - but, sincerely, everyone knew.

 

"There would had better be some explanation, John Sheppard," said Ronon Dex after a while. In his voice, there was no emotion that would have left any clue to his friends about what he was thinking of all of this. "By the way, we are expected back in Atlantis tomorrow morning."

 

"Oh, yes," he said, blushing. He hated his blushing, but he could do nothing against it, due to the irritating hormones of his uncommon state. "Well, Teyla already knows, so... What? Why? We aren't done with our research yet!"

 

"No," Teyla said. "But Weir obviously needs us there for some reason. She ordered it."

 

"That is bullshit," John murmured. "She knows quite well how important the research is for us!"

 

"You have the opportunity to tell her yourself in the morning. Now.. I think there’s a few things you need to tell us..."

 

+++

 

Ronon lay on his bed in the room Sin had settled him in, staring at the wall in front of him. He was lost in thoughts about his home planet, the people he once had loved and the future he had hoped for back then, when everything had been alright and there hadn't been the need to be afraid of living. He was alone and that hurt the most.

 

When he had lived on his planet, he had had sexual encounters with both genders. He loved sex and he knew that he was a very skilled lover. He knew so well how to pleasure the partner he had in his bed, how to make his partner scream and beg for more. Now he had sex only when there was a good occasion and he had to rely on his hand and imagination. Masturbation was not the best way, especially when he desired a family – a wife to love and children to care for.

 

It was the idea of family he wanted to have. Children, maybe a pet and a beautiful wife by his side who would love him back. But everything he had was his jealousy at Rodney and Jennifer's relationship and sometimes he begrudged Teyla her family – her husband and son.

 

But he was a fighter. What woman wanted a man who could die so easily?

 

He was old enough by the standards of his people to have a family, but he oftentimes asked himself, if he was even able to take care of the family he craved for. Today, he had learned about Todd and John's relationship in a way he would never have thought possible and it had shocked him, deeply. He was not disgusted, he was only sad. All of his friends were happy with their partners and he didn’t even have someone to have sex with.

 

He felt alone and it was a feeling he was not ready to cope with. Not yet.

 

Ronon was restless. No matter how much he tried, he was unable to get some sleep, as if sleep did not want to visit him, taking him to some better place where he would be happier and more satisfied in his dreams. He stood up to walk a little around his room's walls but it did not help him to feel better, either. He caught himself thinking about the Wraith he had met in the morning and about his words, which had cut him deep even when he had not realized it at first.

 

At the end, he decided that a little bit of company would not kill him, even when his companion was supposed to be a Wraith librarian with thousands of years expertise and a mocking voice. He had survived a day working with Sin commenting every step they made, what could be worse?

 

So, he dressed himself into his ordinary clothes and left his room with the hope that he would be able to find his room later in the night again. Sin's Hive was really huge and it was very difficult to navigate inside, because it was very specific and Ronon had never seen a ship like this before. It fascinated one part of him, how wonderful a Wraith ship could actually be, but he stopped this thoughts immediately when he realized them.

 

There was no way he would admire Wraith architecture.

 

He was glad that he remembered the way to the Library. It was the biggest room on the ship. Maybe, it took two whole floors because the amount of documents which needed to be stored here was simply incredible. The librarian had to be very clever to be able to find a single document in this library. Aside from the bookshelves, there were few computers and tablets where the digital data was stored and also a few big cases with deposits of this data.

 

The librarian's working table was placed in the left corner in the front part of the library and Ronon soon realized that the Wraith eyes were fixed on him with a curious expression.

 

"Ronon Dex. To what do I owe this honor?" he asked quietly, his voice calm but with a simple smile on his beautiful features. He seemed to be so gentle, so different from the warriors Ronon usually worked with. Even the quite vulnerable Kenny was strong and proud enough to keep his distance but this one... was strange and Ronon did not know if that was a good thing or bad one.

 

"I could not sleep." he answered as he sat down in the surprisingly comfortable chair near the working desk.

 

"I see." the Wraith smiled again and then he took something that seemed to be a teapot with a few cups. "Maybe you should try this. You people call it tea, I think. Jasmine tea, if I may be correct. One of the worshipers showed us this when I was very young and I found it very calming."

 

The Wraith filled two cups of tea and offered one cup to the shocked Ronon, who finally took it, hesitantly.

 

"Do not worry; you are my Commander's guest. I have no intention to poison you. Even my Commander sometimes comes to me for a few cups when he really needs to sleep and it helps a little. Maybe you will enjoy this drink too."

 

Ronon thanked with a simple nod of his head and he took a sip of the tea. "It tastes good."

 

The Librarian nodded and he relaxed in his chair with his own cup of tea. His eyes were still fixed on Ronon's face while he studied the human's reaction to his favorite drink. "You seem to be distracted, Ronon Dex. There is something that worries you so badly that you cannot sleep. If this is my fault, I am very sorry."

 

Ronon raised his eyebrows when the Wraith apologized to him and almost sputtered the tea he had in his mouth. "It is not your fault," he said eventually. "I just... was surprised by the way this day went. My friend is in a relationship with a Wraith Commander and all this shit."

 

"Your friend has been honored, Ronon Dex, and he is happy now. You can hate our kind as much you wish to, but he found happiness and a place to call his home amongst our people. You should be happy for him and wish him a good fortune."

 

"It is complicated."

 

"I believe so, but everyone deserves his own happiness and his own family to be part of, don't you think?" the Wraith asked in a gently, caring voice. He was a good reader of souls - which was probably one of the reasons he was the librarian who normally was supposed to be partly the one for talks when someone felt bad enough to be desperate. Sin had chosen him for this position almost immediately when he had become the Commander of the Hive and he was grateful, because he had found the meaning of his life in this job. He owed Sin a lot.

 

Ronon sighed, taking another sip of the tea. Yes, John deserved to be happy and cherished. He was a great friend and a good fighter who had had to go through a lot and had suffered enough to have a little peace in the rest of his life. Everyone in Atlantis deserved this.

 

"You feel alone, Ronon Dex, am I right?" the Wraith said quietly.

 

"It does not matter."

 

The Wraith saddened. "You hide your own pain behind these words. I can see it in your eyes. You cannot sleep because you feel like you are all alone in this world full of people in love with someone, with family and friends. You have no family, because your own people died years ago and your friends have started to have their own families. You are afraid that you will be alone again."

 

Ronon stood up, anger quite visible in his brown eyes. "You have no reason to read my mind, you fucking piece of Wraith shit!"

 

"I did not read your mind, Ronon Dex." the Wraith answered in a frustrated voice. "I simply observed."

 

"And why should I trust you? You are Wraith!"

 

"Yes. I am Wraith - and you are human. Yet I did not try to hurt you or feed on you as it would be expected because of our roles in this galaxy. We sit in the library, drinking our cups of tea and we converse with each other. Most of the settlers on all of these planets would call it madness but here we are, cooperating together. You know, Ronon Dex, there are only a few things that can still surprise me and this is not one of them. Maybe you should try to cooperate with us too."

 

Ronon growled again as he tried to put some space between this uncommon Wraith and his own mind. In his heart, there was a mixture of feelings he did not understand and it made him even more confused than before. Wraith were supposed to be cruel life sucking creatures but this one was so... nice. Maybe this was the most intimidating Wraith he had ever met, just because he was actually so nice. Ronon almost could have forgotten the life-sucking part of this one.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because you need friends, Ronon Dex, and because I can be yours if you let me. I have much knowledge in my old head and I'm capable of understanding how you feel, at least a little bit. All of your friends seem to be friendly with my kind and you - only maybe - should try to be friendlier, too. Not to all of us, but you really should try to be friendly with a few of us you feel that you can trust. I can offer you my friendship and I am sure the brother of my Commander would like to be a friend of yours, as well."

 

Ronon sighed as he sat down again and tried to calm himself. "I told you I would name you before this day ended, didn't I?"

 

"Yes, actually you did." the Wraith smiled as the crisis was gone for now. "Do you have a name for me?"

 

"I will call you Andriju. It means warrior."

 

The Wraith chuckled. "But I am no warrior, Ronon Dex. I am the librarian and a Keeper of those who sleep before some fool decided to awake them by killing my Queen."

 

Ronon smiled a little when he remembered the story after the awakening of the Wraith that Teyla had told him years ago. "Maybe you do not fight with your arms, but you are a warrior in your heart and that is more valuable than to be able to kill people around you. You do not give up and you don't seem to me like this type at all."

 

"Then I accept your naming, Ronon Dex. I will gladly be Andriju for you."

 

+

 

Having such an important guest in Atlantis was always very strange, but an interesting experience, nonetheless. Many Wraith from Todd's Hive were used to being welcomed there, some of them even had their own quarters inside the city, like Kenny and other scientists Rodney enjoyed working with. But it was very surprising for Sin's crew to be welcomed there with such politeness 'cause of the hearsay of their kind they were used to dealing with every time they met human kind. Of course, Sin's crew needed to feed from humans too, but they did it only when it was necessary.

 

Right now, 'Rani' as he was called by Sheppard and his teams workers, was enjoying the privilege of improving his fighting skills with Ronon Dex in the training room. For many of the city's inhabitants it was something new to see Ronon fight with a Wraith with no intention to end this battle with the Wraith's death. Ronon was visibly enjoying the fight and Sin's very skilled Second enjoyed this as well. Rani was not only a very good fighter, but also a skilled scientist even when he was very young.

 

Actually he was the youngest member of Sin's crew and he was his Second already. It spoke for itself that he had to be good. Only a few Wraith knew that his position was not so deserved as it should be, but they were silent about this topic - not only because he was actually a very good, caring Second, but also because they knew the reasons behind Sin's choice. Most of the other crew-members knew quite well, that he was at least partly Sin's right hand, only because he had sex with him.

 

What sort of sex the two of them could have the others did not know - it was quite visible that Rani was mated. Every morning he braided his hair in the fashion of his mate's original Hive, but no one saw his mate around anymore so it was quite clear that he was dead.

 

Sheppard smiled and let Todd cuddle to him. They were in the shadows, protected from the eyes of others who watched the fight between two really great fighters. He loved the feeling of his mate's hands around his swollen belly, protecting him and the baby, keeping them safe. It was the best part of the day for Sheppard, when he returned to his room and Todd was there, waiting for him, to kiss him and to whisper a few words of undying love (which one had to find somewhere between the sentences, because Todd was not the type who talked about feelings very often).

 

"He is very good," John said after a few moments. "Maybe he is even better than Ronon."

 

"Ronon is skilled, John. Sin's Second can be better, but he lacks purpose. You cannot fight without purpose. He is like a blank sheet of a book where you expect words, but the only thing you will find is an emptiness - there is no reason for him to give everything to a single combat. Against this enemy, even the simple beginner can win if he wants to."

 

Sheppard frowned. "Then why is he Sin's Second?"

 

The question again. Todd was used to others asking him questions he did not want to answer, but he knew that he had to. "Sin saw his potential." Todd sighed when he considered his whole answer. " “When my brother saw him the first time, Rani belonged to another Hive and he was newly mated to its Commander, who was the most beautiful being I've ever met. Rani’s mate was so proud of Rani and loved him greatly for his uncommon nature and behavior. I am not sure if Rani loved his mate too, but there was certainly some attraction on his side. In fact, he did not have a choice in this matter but who would resist his Commander when he wants to mate you? No one. No one would be so stupid, even when you have Rani's nature."

 

Sheppard chuckled. "Yeah, I realized." he said when he remembered the time they spent on Sin's Hive which was full of Rani's wild, untamed nature and several quite funny arguments between the bossy, healthy arrogant Second and his mostly lazy, ignorant Commander, sipping tea and talking in riddles most of the time. "How Sin's Hive worked before Rani came? I cannot imagine the chaos there."

 

This made Todd laugh a little. "Honestly? I am not sure. Sin is a great fighter and even better in doing nothing - which is the most important feature to have when you are supposed to be the Keeper, 'cause it’s such a boring life-style - but wherever he goes, he left chaos to follow. Maybe the librarian kept the Hive alive?"

 

"The librarian, huh?"

 

"That is the most important member of the crew John. He is taking care of the library, the whole knowledge of our kind. He is very old and he has the mind of a genius. I've met him only once, when I was invited to the library because of some research I wanted to do and I suppose that we will meet him sooner or later. Dr. Keller's cure can be very important for the survival of our kind and he surely will want to discuss it with us."

 

Sheppard sighed, looking at his mate he loved unquestioningly . His closest friends now knew about his relationship with a Wraith Commander and about the baby he carried, too, so it was not necessary to hide themselves in the shadows, but he enjoyed it - mostly because in the shadows he was allowed to touch him, kiss him... do everything he wanted without annoying other people. But now, he just wanted to be closer to Todd so he tugged at the zipper on Todd's coat and placed himself between the tight, warm pieces of his mate's clothes.

 

"I do not like the look Weir gave us when we returned. She called us back, what is the problem? She never complained about the Wraith guests on the base before but she had THAT look in her eyes..."

 

"Do not worry, John." Todd whispered to him and kissed him on his dark hair, lovingly. "You have me to protect you, your friends, even my brother-"

 

"I am not afraid." John said immediately. "I am just a little bit uncomfortable with the situation. It is like she does not trust us anymore. I am worried that we cannot depend on her; that we cannot rely on her! It is so weird, Todd, all of this, and I do not know what to do now."

 

Todd's hand touched John's belly and rubbed it with his fingers to offer silent comfort and care. "As I said, do not worry, John. If anything goes wrong..."

 

"I know. You will be there to catch me and save me like my prince Charming," John said a little irritated, but mostly pleased with the care he heard in Todd's voice. "I still do not trust you brother. He is crazy, his presence is unbearable - especially when he wants you to listen to his bullshit, always so pleased with himself, and-"

 

His Wraith Commander chuckled. "I believe he would take it as a compliment."

 

"Sure he does. He does not know how to use his brain and process sarcasm."

 

"Rani," Todd smiled when he realized who was talking to them and obviously listening to their conversation. But he was not angry, mostly amused with all of this. "I believe you enjoyed the training with Ronon Dex?"

 

The mighty Wraith created something very close to a smile and grin at once, which looked pretty damn sexy. "He is good," Rani said after a while. "But not better than Sin. There is only one thing I cannot deny to my Commander. He can be a piece of irresponsible shit, but he is one of the hell of a warrior."

 

Todd nodded, obviously impressed be the Second's opinion about his brother. "He is headstrong. Otherwise there would be no chance he would outrank a Queen."

 

"But do not overestimate him," Rani purred with a pure, amused grin. "Maybe he can fuck and fight like a god himself, but it does not change that I am the one who is doing his laundry... otherwise he would smell like a sweaty dog. Like a child, surely. He even cannot darn a sock."

 

Sheppard raised eyebrows in surprise. "Sock?"

 

"Yeah, the usually like-wet-dog-and-worse smelling part of the clothes, you know?" Rani answered, irritated. His very long hair was braided into small braids on one side of his head - the other side was freshly shaved. He was beautiful in his own way... usually before he opened his mouth. It was not the first time Sheppard wondered if this Wraith and Rodney would not made a great pair...

 

"I would like to fight with your Commander then, if he really is that skilled." Sheppard said to change a topic. "I think it would benefit our morals, ‘cause Atlantis crew will gladly bet on if I’ll be death in five or ten seconds, and I think your crew will join them. You know? It will be like smoking the peace pipe… only you cannot understand the reference…"

 

"Perhaps," Rani drawled. "But not in your state, Colonel Sheppard. My Commander would not forgive himself if he were to hurt your child. He seems to be.. attached to your unborn son, much to the displeasure of the crew."

 

"Why?" Sheppard sounded surprised. "Well... I would understand why you do not like the idea, but the others?"

 

Rani just shrugged and he left Todd to answer this quite delicate matter. "Keepers are very close with each other. Usually they... are there because they had no other choice. My brother, for example, was sold to the Hive by our mother to strength the position of her Hive; the Librarian was cast off because he was tiny so he was left to die in a Hive's prison until Sin's predecessor found him dying from starvation. Rani there... after his mate died there was no other place for him to go. You need to understand John, that no-one is the Keeper because he WANTS to be one. So no one of the crew understands why the Commander wants to mate with someone from another Hive and curse him with this fate, when there are so many of them who could easily satisfy his needs."

 

"We are outcasts John Sheppard, surpluses. Our goal can be noble, but we are not. Being a keeper is an honor and as well as a curse. You can never leave - when you come there, there is no turning back. We are neither good nor honorable, no matter what you think about us. We are bad news."

 

"Oh, my sweet, innocent Second! How I missed your complaining!" the amused voice of the Keeper Commander was full of laughter, when his impressive half-naked figure came closer to the company.

 

Rani rolled his eyes. "What about if you go away and fuck yourself, Sin? I'm not in the mood for your shit right now."

 

"So broody, hm... it suits you, honey. Brother, Sheppard. It is nice to see you again! I hope my Second did not bore you? He can be annoying sometimes."

 

Todd chuckled. "No more than you, Sin."

 

"Oh yes, I am the champion, am I not? I believe, Rani there is counting his chances of killing me in the training room."

 

Rani snarled. "Do not pretend you know what I am thinking about, you piece of shit."

 

Sin smiled - it was his usual, very sexy and very amused type of smile he used permanently to show how much he was enjoying the situation. But it was not the first time when Sheppard noticed that his eyes never smiled - they were sad, full of doubt and grief. "I like you too, Rani." Sin said gently after a moment, stroking Rani's hair tenderly.

 

The younger Wraith growled a little, but his Commander ignored him. As always, by the way.

 

For John, it was his newly favorite movie from the day he had arrived on the Keeper's Hive. Sin and Rani's conversations, where they insulted each other in every sentence but still liked each other. He still did not understand why Sin wanted to mate with his child when he had such a strong relationship with Rani. It was a real mystery.

 

But there had to be a reason and John knew it. There was always a reason for Sin to do the things he did.

 

"What about if we simply stop with the insulting and yelling at each other?" Todd suggested with a grin. "I think we should-"

 

But no one even knew what he wanted to say, because in that moment, the alarm from the laboratories started to ring and Sheppard sighed.

 

"Rodney," he said with long groan. "I told him NOT to do it."

 

"What?" Sin said suspiciously and Rani grew alert.

 

"You know the book he studied? About alternate dimensions and other things? I told him to leave it on your Hive, but Rodney... he never listens when there is some research to do, and... What?" John raised his eyebrows as he noticed Sin's suddenly pale face, even paler than usual.

 

"I think we have a great problem John Sheppard. The book is not supposed to be read!"

 

Rani narrowed his eyes and in a single second, he was gone, moving towards Rodney's lab.

 

"No," Todd said dryly and nodded to the place Sin's pissed off Second went. "NOW we have a real problem."

 

John paled, too. "Oh shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I hope all of you will welcome CROSSOVER! (author is crazy and obviously in love with caps lock)  
> Well, me and Blue_Night are having just a little fun with our characters and stories! So if you want to know WHAT is happening, you better go to read wonderful fic of my beta - What You Don't Want - and see mine sweeties again (because writing is soooo.... sooooo... soooo HAAAAAAAAAARD!)
> 
> Ok, I will shut up by now.


	10. What tommorrow brings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sin's crew and John, Todd and Ronon's friends are dealing with dissappearance of theirs loved ones - each in his own way, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I am so sorry for the long waiting for another chapter. I promise I will try to update as soon as possible again! 
> 
> Do not forget to visit profile of my amazing beta, Blue Night (thank you so much for your patience with me!), where you can find stories with "mine" John, Todd, Ronon and Sin stucked in her reality - btw, she writes Sin better than me :-D So check them all!
> 
> Hope you will like the new chapter.
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome, as always, as well as screaming at me, if it makes you feel better, for my lack of updates in so many months!
> 
> Have fun!

It was the most unexpected outcome of Rodney’s experiment with the "book" he had stolen from the Keeper's flagship and now, everybody was in a rush. A few minutes ago they had called Todd's Hive to report the news to the crew - mainly to Todd's Second who, without questions, promised to send his best scientist to Atlantis. They were expected to arrive in few minutes.

In the lab, there was chaos.

Rani stood in the corner, growling at everybody who was brave enough to pass close to his intimidating body, with his eyes fixed on Rodney who was responsible for this mess in the first place. Next to him was a small statue, covered in black (as it was the Keeper's usual style when they were not on board their ships), making their position clear to their surroundings.

Rodney sat on the chair, still shaking from the shock, with Teyla who tried to comfort him and Zelenka, who seemed quite lost. Who was surely not lost, was Dr. Weir. She stood before the table with the Keeper's book, her arms crossed before her chest and an angry look on her usual quite nice face. "I want to know what happened there!" she said almost immediately when she got together all the information.

"You broke our treaty," said the small statue next to Rani. "You stole something you were not able to control and you paid for it."

Dr. Weir raised her eyebrows. "And you are..?"

The little, fragile one put down his hood which had hidden his very feminine, pretty face with a very specific tattoo over it. "I am the Keeper's Librarian - you can call me Andriju, if it helps our cause - and I am the one, who is in charge of all our history, knowledge and relics as well. This book is one of my possessions and it's very dangerous and very old. It can transmute the space and time and wipe off the walls between various galaxies and, sometimes, even realities. It is forbidden to read or use."

Dr. Weir shot a very strange look at the little Wraith who was so tiny and looked as if he would break if you touched him. But she knew pretty well that Wraith were strong, no matter how they looked like, and so it would be not wise to underestimate him. "So, you want to tell me that my men are in different galaxy?" she asked in a disbelieving voice.

"Perhaps. They could be stuck in another reality as well. I cannot tell till I have taken a look over the pages you read and used."

"Are you able to get them back?"

Andriju sighed. "I am not sure. If I will not be able to locate them, there is nothing I possibly can do. I am going to be honest with you - if they are stuck in other galaxy, we will never find them. We can locate them, but we will never get to them in time - they will perish - from the age or from lack of food. If they are in another reality, we may be able to find a way to get them back. But it will take time and other realities are dangerous."

"Da-dangerous? How.. how much?" Rodney said, absolutely terrified about what he'd done.

Rani growled. "There are copies. Of us. In other realities we can meet our copies, and you can never tell how it will end. Your copy can be a dangerous criminal and you can be killed before you will even know what is happening, because you look like him. Or there can be no oxygen, or something like that. There are various realities. We know about two hundreds of millions other realities, but surely, there are more than that."

Teyla watched the two Wraith with obvious worries for her beloved friends - Ronon and John both had been taken by the big black vortex which had appeared from nothing the very moment, John, Ronon, Sin and Todd had come and it had taken them away even before there had been any chance to tell them what was wrong. Rani had escaped this fate only because he had been there before it had started.

"Please, help us to find our friends," Teyla said desperately. "I know we were wrong when we stole the book from you, but we meant no harm to you. Please, help us."

"Teyla Emmagen?" he asked and waited till she had nodded. "I was told about your bravery and dedication to the ones you love and I admire that. Don't worry, my Commander is lost, as well, we will do everything to reach our goal. Now, If you would be so nice and handle me the book so I can start?"

"Wait," Rani said and his voice was shaking. "I am afraid we have another problem. If Sin is away, our alliance - the Keeper's alliance - will fall apart as well as the mind blocks on our Flag ship. The Queen will be freed and there are many other commanders who hate Sin and our current ways. They will fight and there will be war."

Teya frowned. "So it means that your world depend utterly on your Commander?" she said, surprised by this revelation.

"Yes. He controls the Hives, the Queen with his thoughts. His mind powers are very vital, even stronger than the ones of most of the Queens' and without them she will be the one to rule us all," Andriju answered. "And she is very angry. He held her as a mere prisoner and she is proud, as young and inexperienced as she is. She will not help our cause."

"Then we cannot count on your help in the future," Dr. Weir said angrily and her sharp eyes met Rani's cat-like pupils. "It is done then. We cannot trust you anymore."

+++

Kenny sat on a magnificent bed his mate had bought for them many years ago, half-naked; his fingers gently touching his open wounds which looked so disgusting, so awful, so scary - the wounds he carried almost all the time and they hurt and weakened him so he had had to give up fighting his husband loved to perform. Steve was born to be a fighter, so good one, so strong one, and he? What was he? A scientist? A cripple?

He felt like nothing. He was so full of nothing, only self-pity and pain for the life he wanted to have and had lost so long ago. Not even the obvious love Steve felt for him could fill the hole in his heart and mind where had been all of his bravery... the only one thing left was misery.

Where was the energy to wake up? To move his fingers? To eat, or sleep? He was unable to find it... all of his dreams, his hopes had been stolen from him in one short moment, one cursed moment, when he had said "yes" to Steve.

He wanted to take the "yes" back. Wished he had never said it out loud, never enjoyed Steve's lovemaking which made him so hard, so vulnerable, so weak.

How could Steve did that to him? To take everything from him? How could he be so selfish?

The words: I love you!, could not make his world all right again. But yes, he loved Steve, he loved him so much that even the thought of being without him was killing him from inside. It was the pain he could not have imagined before he lost him once.

There was no life awaiting for him without Steve's support, his love, his kisses and his trust in him and his actions.

"You are crying, beautiful? Are you in pain?" asked the very concerned voice coming from the door as Steve entered theirs quarters. Kenny shook his head immediately and let his husband touch his face tenderly. "I am worried," Steve said quietly. "When was the last time you came out from our rooms?"

Kenny whispered something unspecific and closed his eyes because he did not wish to look into his love's sad face. "I am sorry."

"There is no reason to be sorry, beautiful. Are you feeling unwell? Can I do something for you?" The proud fighter sat next to Kenny and placed a kiss on his hair. Kenny sobbed.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry..." he cried out. "I want to be such a good husband to you, but I am wreck. I am trying, please, believe me.. I am trying. I try so much, but I cannot. I am only a disappointment to you. I am sorry... so sorry... I am sorry..."

"Oh, beautiful..." Steve sighed with a voice full of sadness. He reached for his love and pulled him into his arms. "It does not matter, love. For me, you are perfect... my perfect husband I do not deserve you most of the time, so stop crying. It breaks my heart to see you like this," Steve whispered as he wiped away the tears from his lover's face with his fingers. "Soon, we will arrive to Atlantis. They need us desperately, and I will need you to help them. Can you do it?"

Steve's voice was very quiet and gentle too, when he spoke to his husband, who still cried. "Beautiful, I need you to get out of our bed, can you do this for me?"

Kenny shook his head, confused, tired. He was so tired of everything. His body painfully ached with every move and his head was clouded with thoughts of bad days. "I-I..."

-All right. I will grab some shirt for you and...-

-The... the blue one, please.-

-Blue one. Okay. Is it from Rodney as well?-

-Y-Yes.-

Steve stood up and he opened the closet with Kenny's clothes. He found a few T-shirts from the time Kenny had spent in Atlantis and he quickly grabbed the blue one..

-HEY YOU - MY BED IS THAT WAY!.... Really?-

Kenny smiled a little. 

-It was a gift.-

-Right.-

Steve sighed as he gave the shirt to his husband. 

-But it does not mean that you have to wear it, okay?-

-I want to.-

Kenny let his husband dress him properly, before Steve handed him a long black coat.

-They need our help and I need you to stop crying. So, please... if it would not be for the emergency, I would have stayed here with you and made you happy, but there is no time for that.-

Kenny nodded and bit his lip when he asked:

-Have you ever regretted mating me, Steve?-

-What? What are you talking about, beautiful?-

Steve turned to his husband and wrapped his arms around him. He hugged him, with his strong arms around the fragile body of his husband, and kissed him hard. His body heat and smell was supposed to calm his crazy, stupid mate a little bit so he made sure that he had enough of both, before he let him took a breath again. 

-You are my life, the reason why I am still alive, beautiful. My beautiful... Every day in the pit... in the prison on Earth, I thought about you and I fight so I could come back and meet you again. You.. the thought of you gave me strength when there was nothing but darkness and despair and unending pain. How can you ask me such a question, when you are everything I have ever wanted?-

Steve took a breath to calm himself. 

-I love you, Kenny. I love you so much. There was not a single day I regretted the day when I asked you to be mine. You gave my life a real meaning, you gave me the most beautiful days I spent by your side. I will always love you, no matter how angry you act or how betrayed by the fate you feel. Even when you think you are not good enough for me, I love you. I am so happy with you.-

Kenny sobbed in his mate's arms even when he felt protected and loved by him. The emotions wanted to go out for so long and he was unable to fight with them anymore. His fingers convulsively held Steve's shoulders and his body trembled but with every passing second, he felt better.

-I am so... so sorry.-

-There is nothing to be sorry for. I love you.-

-Love you too.-

+++

Not even an hour after Steve arrived with a group of scientist from Todd's Hive, they had created a plan - which, as always, failed, because of Dr. Weir's dissatisfaction and her disagreement with the whole idea. So, they just sat in the lab, looking at each other, without an actual plan or some kind of hope at least. 

"She really has the nerves..." Rani growled angrily. "... to talk to me in this manner!"

The Librarian put a hand on his trembling shoulder to offer some comfort and frowned. "I am also not happy with the current state of events, but we need to look forward and do not weep for the past. There are many ways we can try, many options for us to be tested. We need to hope for better days and do not dwell in the chaos which will come, if we do not succeed."

"Do you think they know what will fall upon us, if the ways to return things to their original state fail?"

The Librarian gave Steve a little, kind smile. "Sin knows and he will try to get back as soon as possible, if the opportunity shows itself, but I cannot speak for your father. His mind is occupied by his new mate and John can present himself like a great weakness, which forces your father to fall down to his knees."

"So you are saying that..."

"I do not say anything. We need to believe that they will fight and that they will survive."

Steve nodded and he kissed the temple of Kenny's head, just to feel a little comfortable in this situation. His father was gone as well as his new mate and he was still in no condition to rule his Hives. Of course, he could act like his Second even with his wounds, but to be completely without Todd's presence could be fatal. His beautiful mate squeezed his hand and kissed him back on the soft skin under Steve's ear. 

Kenny sat on Steve's lap, surrounded by his lover's heat and smell and his strong presence, hidden from the cruel, bad world in his arms in front of everyone in the lab, but Kenny did not seemed to be affected by it. He acted very loving, very natural, like this was their usual behavior. It made Steve smile, to know that his mate felt safe in his arms once again, but he could not smile openly. And there were other matters to attend as well - like how to get your father, uncle and possibly step-mother back from this shit.. and Ronon in the process as well.

"What can we do?" Teyla asked after a rather long time of silence. 

"We need to find a way to find out the reality they are in. It is the Librarian's job," Rani said. "He is the only one who can read this book without any other disaster. After that, we have to get a plan how to get them back, if they are not dead already - and we have to hope that Dr. Weir will not stop us in the attempt again."

Rodney, who sat in the chair and held a big piece if ice, pressed to his face, swollen from the punch he had gotten from Rani, sighed. "Maybe I could find a way to contact them? It can take a time, but if I have the precise coordinates to the another reality they are stuck in, I could establish a connection between the realities via the Stargate. It will not be perfect, but it could be start."

"Do it," Rani hissed . "So maybe you can be helpful at least. It is your fault!"

"Maybe we should all calm down?" Teya suggested. "And try to think clearly. How this even happened in the first place?"

"In a short way - this idiot stole a book from our sacred archives, brought it here and scanned it, so the codes went to the information system between individual devices connected to local sites linked to the Stargate system. The Stargate is designed to download the data and run them, but without another data with information about the right location, time and space, it simply opened a portal to another dimension, galaxy or reality. We cannot know till we do some research about the pages scanned into the system. The Stargate opened and sucked them in, then it closed," answered Kenny with a tablet full of usually unreadable data in his hands. He scanned them very quickly, downloaded them to his own and then he handed the device back to Rani, who was annoyed as hell.

"So, the Keepers are able to travel to another dimensions?" Rodney asked, surprised.

"Of course we are!" Rani hissed at him, with obvious anger in his usually so beautiful voice. "Do you think we are dumb? Or that our archives are forbidden to the others just because we need some fun in our pathetic lives? Oh, come on!"

The Librarian sighed. "Would you like a cup of tea, Rani? It will calm your nerves a little, before you will explode."

"I do not want a cup of your fucking tea! I am not Sin to count on you with your counsel and sweet words and calming tea so I could sleep! I am not some broken maniac suffering from insomnia with trusting issues, so stop treat me in this manner!"

"Rani..." the voice of the Librarian sounded a little bit hurt. "I know you are angry and afraid. I am afraid too."

Rani pressed his lips to a thin line and run his fingers through his braided hair. 

"I am no scientist," Steve said after a while - and Kenny chuckled a little; the atmosphere was really heavy and uncomfortable. "But I will let my best scientist to aboard Atlantis for a time and-"

"No."

"NO?" Steve repeated. "Why?"

"We need to study on our Hive," the Librarian answered instead of Rani. "I need to do some research and your help would be very appreciated. It will take some time, but if we can decode the data from Stargate and find the location of the Stargate they were sent to and the dimension or reality as well, we could make a contact and they can be send back to us."

"If they are still alive, or if they are near the Stargate when we try to re-collect them," Rani said. "And you do not need to be a self-proclaimed genius to know, that the probability is not high."

"Can you please stop insulting me?" Rodney jerked.

"No."

"Oh, stop acting like teenage boys. You should have some common sense, Rani, as old as you are! Use your brain you are so proud of, and shut up for a moment, please?" Steve grinned and he smiled even more openly when Rani growled at him angrily. "You are really very easy to upset."

"So we need to locate them and then we can bring them back?" Teyla asked the Librarian after she gave up her attempts to calm the two Wraith warriors down.

"In brief, yes, we could be able to do this. But if they are not near the Stargate, we will need to send some of us to find them first. We could only hope that they are not in hostile environment."

"Okay. I will go to Dr. Weir and... I will arrange this."


	11. the big bad wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the disappearance of Sin and some of Atlantis's crew, things aren't going as smooth as our heroes would like... which leads to some revelations about hidden pains as the big bad wolf (as is he called by the Keeper Alliance) is temporary released from his prison cell. Alas.
> 
> Or "How Rani had to face his personal nightmare to save people he loved with some creepy personal problems of crazy Librarians, addicted to tea leafs..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Blue_Night for amazing and quick beta!  
> Without you, there will be no light in my life!
> 
> Enjoy the next chapter!

Rani stood at the bridge working stoically on his paperwork. He found it almost impossible to work in his usual place - Sin's bedroom - as the place reminded him painfully of his loss. He missed his fucked-up Commander, although he would not even consider to tell this little secret of his to a single person. The Librarian knew... well there was not a thing about this ship the Librarian did not know. He was a constant reminder of their duties and the miserable importance of their lives. Not that Rani hated him, he just was not really comfortable in his presence.  
  
Notwithstanding the crew morale was low enough to talk about a rebellion, 'cause of Sin's idiocy and the help of the Librarian with a group of scientists and never-able-to-shut-his-mouth scientist from Atlantis (his name was Rodney - at least Rani thought so) expected from him, there was always a paperwork he could drown his sorrow in before someone could notice his quite personal feelings. He really was not made of the material a Commander had to be, he could not swallow this amount of pressure for a long period of time and... damn, it was a week or so! Sin should be back already... this stupid piece of shit, really.  
  
Rani was used to loose people he cared deeply for. His entire Hive, his chosen mate and now Sin... but it did not mean he was prepared for it. The only thing he brought to perfection was how to conceal his feelings so no one could notice and then bury them so deep he could not even remember them or evoke them again in the time of peace.  
  
"Rani?" murmured Steve as he approached him with a simple smile on his lips. He was quite a good company and usually Rani enjoyed their talks. "We have a little problem with the prison. The wards and protections are weaker with every passing hour. It will not take a long time and the system will collapse."  
  
Rani looked up to the concerned face of his friend and sighed. "The percentage?"  
  
"52% and its falling down. This ship is enormous. There is no way it will not break into pieces if Sin..."  
  
"I know!" hissed Rani, irritated with himself and his missing Commander. "I already gave the order to the crew to pack the essentials in case the quick evacuation is needed. What we will do with the documents and relics I have no fucking idea yet. What about the other systems?"  
  
"The life support systems are stable with 98%," said Steve, still concerned. "The engine core is working at 89%, only one of the motors has some malfunction, so we can still use hyperspace, although I would not recommend it. The hibernation systems work on 65%. We are still scanning the rest so... I will tell you after the scientists will have the results."  
  
"What about the ship itself?"  
  
"It is still able to repair itself."  
  
Rani nodded and with a growl he put his silky, wavy hair out of his stunning face. "I should go down there. If Sin will not return we will need the Queen to cooperate. Better with us than one of the Alliance's Commanders."  
  
"Do you still hold HIM in the prison?"  
  
Rani confirmed it with another nod.  
  
"You are joking, right?" Now, it was Steve's turn to hiss. "The last time he was out he massacred a half of the crew and he is still alive? I thought that Sin put him to death years ago!"  
  
"He is still a Commander," sighed Rani. "We cannot terminate him. Unfortunately he is in charge of our most powerful warship and the crew is fuckingly loyal to him. If we kill him or harm him in any way, I do not want to think about the consequences."  
  
"This is..."  
  
"Mess, I know. A great, fucked mess we are supposed to deal with now, when Sin is surely enjoying his amazing vacation somewhere in some fucking universe fucking someone only to have his fucking sock cleaned!"  
  
"Terrifying feeling to be replaced, hm?"  
  
"Fuck off, Steve."  
  
Steve chuckled and touched Rani's shoulder in the attempt to comfort him, offering him a glass with a clear liquid. "He will return... now drink it. It helps."  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"Vodka."  
  


* * *

  
  
"How... impressed I am with your presence there, in my small dungeon, little one," said the Wraith, locked behind a prison door. The cell he was in was quite a comfortable one, with books, a bed and other things to make one feel better than a dungeon bat, but still... it was a cage, a prison cell and Rani hated this one for his own reasons. The Wraith in question was an intimidating one. The muscles were long gone for the lack of excercise but he was still tall, tattooed and his face was one of a strong, proud warrior. His voice was mocking as well which does not helped Rani to feel easy.  
  
But, truly, who would feel easy in the presence of a madman?  
  
A fool.  
  
"I see you are still alive. How... unfortunate waste of space," Rani answered, irritated.  
  
The Wraith Commander laughed with a sincere amusement. "You are so cute, little one, with your attempts to offend me, as always. I have to say I missed your company. It is certainly more appealing that the presence of guards, but you really should work on your expressions. Or... maybe it is the lack of intelligence making your speeches so boring?"  
  
"Are you doing this so I have an excuse to kill you?"  
  
"You cannot kill me, little one," the Wraith smiled. "Your oh-so-loved Commander forbade it."  
  
"Try me."  
  
Wraith laughed again, or maybe he did not even stopped. "What do you need, little one? We both know you are not there on a health walk."  
  
Rani pressed his lips together. "Traveling between time, space and realities. That was your specialization, wasn't it?"  
  
"Hmm... maybe. It depends."  
  
"On what?" Rani hissed.  
  
"On what are you offering as an exchange for my knowledge?"  
  
Rani narrowed his eyes. "What do you want?" he resigned.  
  
"Freedom," grinned the hostile Wraith Commander.  
  
Rani chuckled. "You cannot be so foolish to think you can get away with that. There is no way, no reason for me to release you. I will not."  
  
"I see. So, I want one night with you, little one. I did not taste your sweet body in years."  
  
"You will help me if I let you fuck me?" Rani asked this unpredictable creature. "You can't be serious."  
  
"Take it or let it be. But I doubt you will deny it to me. You would not came to me if this was not urgent. You need me, little one. I can see it in you. Your choice..."  
  
Rani nervously bit his lips. Most of the time, it helped him to focus better on the task before him. He had expected this - he even had prepared himself for this request before he had come all the way to the prison quarters to visit his mate's Second. There was always lust in the Wraith's eyes when he was near him, but Rani hoped that one time was enough... as if he could forgot the dreadful night. He still felt the cooling blood of his mate all over himself when this Wraith had raped him to prove his victory, before Sin saved him.   
  
"Deal then," Rani said after some time. "But I have conditions."  
  
"Very well, then."  
  
"You will not tell anyone about what are we trying to achieve. You will kill no-one of the crew or any visitor. You will cooperate and do your best. If I'll ever get the suspicion that you do not respect those rules, there will be no reward, only punishment. Sin forbade to kill you, but he said nothing about torturing or mutilation."  
  
"What did you fuck up, little one?" asked the Wraith, considering the conditions. "You have to be deep in shit to be so desperate to let me fuck you."  
  
"Better to show you."  
  


* * *

  
  
Andriju sat in the library behind his desk, drinking his favorite tea to calm him down a little. It helped him to relax nicely after his work was done. His short hair was tucked behind his ears so he was able read comfortably the cursed book which sent their beloved ones far, far away beyond their reach and he was frowning with every passed page. It was a very complicated mechanism inside the book, imprinted in its pages very carefully so it looked almost like an innocent book about space and time.   
  
The Librarian sighed. He was already tired. Since the book was put in front of him to study, he had only a very little amount of time to relax left. So many lives depended on him now and he was anxious to save them all.  Sleep did not come to him – it avoided him when he needed it the most. It was partly his fault. Every time he closed his eyes, he remembered the nights he had spent with the mortal fighter who fascinated him so much with his hard built, strong body and so fragile mind when it came to his personal affairs.  
  
Ronon... he missed him already. The nights they talked about every single thing, no matter how simple and unimportant, when they shared their minds, their hearts, their fears and hopes. The mortal was so keen to just give up and stop trying, so lost, so alone in the world he could not find a proper place to settle in.  
  
Andriju still held the memory of their first night close to his heart, with the hope that they will meet again.  
  
<<<<  
  
 _When Ronon woke up, the first thing he noticed was a huge headache and then horrible thirst. He felt like he would have to empty a whole lake to assuage his thirst but it was not the only inconvenience he felt. There was a simple, but aching pain in the muscles he usually did not use._  
  
 _As he groaned and sat on the bed - which was all purple, full of pillows and it was in the shape of circle - his head throbbed and he fell down to the mattress again. It was a very comfortable bed. It smelled like something sweet and the sheets were silky beneath his fingers - but it was not his bed and this was what mattered to him right now. Even the room was not his - the walls were all covered with a silky fabric which continued to cover the floor like a smooth carpet and the furniture was simple, made from dark, almost black  wood._  
  
 _The room was alight by candles and a big crystal chandelier. No. It could not be Ronon's room. It was a very beautiful, but dark room with so many books and papers... and with a white-haired Wraith in the chair near a small library._  
  
 _Ronon blinked as the memories from the previous evening came back into his mind. He remembered the inner pain of being lonely. He remembered also the amount of bottles full of alcohol he had drunk while walking through the corridor, capturing the walls around not to fall down, but since then, everything was blank and dark._  
  
 _He even did not know where he had gone and why._  
  
 _But now, it was quite clear, where he had ended. With an aching head in the room of a Wraith who apparently had fucked the moon and the stars from his mind, because his ass burned like hell. Wait. Wraith. Fucking. There was something disturbing on the idea of having sex with a Wraith – any Wraith._  
  
 _Immediately, Ronon wanted to vomit._  
  
 _"I see you are awake now," the voice was so familiar and kind as it echoed through the room. There was the simple sound of  the chair being pushed away so the Wraith could stand up and walk closer to the bed. "You look even worse than yesterday, Ronon Dex. Do you require some painkillers? I heard that after this large amount of alcohol there will be some side effects like headache."_  
  
 _The bed arched as the Wraith sat down and smiled at Ronon. His hand was in Ronon's hair, gently caressing the aching head with his pleasantly cold fingers. "How do you feel?"_  
  
 _"Andriju," the realization hit Ronon like a cannon-ball when he opened his eyes he had closed after his realization and looked into the snake pupils of the Wraith who was always so kind to him and converse with him with no fear in his heart, only with gentle interest in his words._  
  
 _The Wraith's smile widened. "Good morning, Ronon Dex. It is pleasure to see you awake. I was worried."_  
  
 _"Andriju, how..."_  
  
 _"Hush now. I see you are not well. Your questions can wait till you will feel better again. Drink this," he said, offering a simple cup with a dark liquid. "It will help you with the pain and the nausea, I promise. My Commander drinks it almost every day to feel better."_  
  
 _Andriju pressed the cup to Ronon's lower lip and helped him to lift his head to drink as much as was Ronon able to. Then he pulled a warm blanket closer and covered Ronon's body with the fabric, but when he tried to get up and return to his work, Ronon's fingers were wrapped around his forearm to stop him._  
  
 _"Stay," Ronon whispered with closed eyes, so he could not see the smile on Andriju's beautiful features. It was better for Ronon not to see his face - not to constantly be remembered that he had sex with a Wraith. Admittedly a sexy, nice and smiling one, but still a life-sucking creature he hated most of his life and even more since the Wraith had destroyed his homeworld and killed all he had loved greatly. He held Andriju's feeding hand around his wrist; the smooth, cold skin calming him a little._  
  
 _"Of course," Andriju said when he lay down on the bed next to Ronon. "I will stay with you." His voice was very quiet and Ronon was grateful for it. Every single loud voice was killing his head right now. What had he thought that he had drunk so much on a Wraith Hive? And now his head ached almost unbearably and there was a pretty shaped body he could cuddle up to and forget everything._  
  
>>>>  
  
“Librarian? Are you there?” a quiet voice interrupted Andriju’s dreaming about that special night when everything had changed – when Ronon finally had started to be more open, more friendly and, most importantly, more demanding.  
  
„I am here, Kenny, “he murmured with a pleasant smile all over his face. “Do you need something?”  
  
The younger Wraith sat down at the desk and poured himself a cup of tea as was his custom to do so when he came to the Library. “You seem to be lost in your thoughts. What are you thinking about?” Kenny asked gently and then he sipped from the tea. It was one of those calming teas he saw Sin drinking very oftentimes when his insomnia troubled him a big deal.   
  
“Ronon Dex,” he answered and offered his own little smile to the scientist. “We spent a great time together and I found myself longing and craving his presence. I never believed that those mortal creatures could be so interesting and so broken at the same time…”  
  
“I know what are you talking about. I made friends with some humans too…” Kenny said but, in his voice was pain, instead of happiness. “I cannot even imagine my life after they will be long gone and dead. It is so… confusing to deal with right now and I know there is plenty of time to enjoy together, but still, it pains me.”  
  
“We may be different in species, but inside we all are the same, Kenny,” Andriju offered the comfort Kenny needed. “The years may separate us, in the wisdom or maybe in a body, but they never can divide us in our hearts. The beauty and the true suffering is in keeping those passed away close to our hearts, keep them there to never forget those days we spent together laughing, talking, making love. We all have those who will never return to us. Mates, parents, siblings… and we all have to deal with their passing. One day, we will pass as well and those who will survive us will keep us in their hearts so we will never die. The memory will be everlasting.”  
  
“Until there will be no one to remember us.”  
  
“But then all you ever loved will be with you, forever,” Andriju smiled and touched Kenny’s hand. “They will always live inside of you, Kenny. They will live through your memories, until you meet them again.”  
  
Kenny nodded. “I almost lost Steve once.”  
  
“But he was returned to you. You should celebrate every single moment, cherish it and enjoy it. Many of us does not have such a comfort, such a hope, before them. Sin cried ten whole days, holding the bloody corpse of his lover, Stardust, before he let us put him into the ground – there is no hope for him. Your husband did not die, little one, you can hope.”  
  
“Have you ever been in love, Librarian?”  
  
Andriju smiled with a sad expression in his eyes and sipped his tea. “I do not know. Maybe, I am in love right now, but how can I know? I am a man of words and those I keep close to my heart does not care about them very much.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Chaos and rush ruled the scientific lab in the moment.  
  
The Keeper's Flag ship was equipped with a pretty modern lab and it was quite spacious so no one felt cornered while working even with a really big group of people around. A few years ago, Sin had bought comfortable chairs, sofas and other furniture to make studying documents and working on projects as comfortable as possible due to many complaints from the lab staff. The lab adjoined the library so it was really the best place to work with data from the Atlantis and also with the knowledge of Keeper's documents.  
  
In the center of the lab was a table with books and other devices with collected data so anyone had access to potentially useful information in the case an idea came up.  
  
"Nice brothel you have around, little one," grinned the Wraith Commander to the Keeper's Second who hissed at him almost immediately.  
  
"Oh, just shut up. We are trying to find a solution. You cannot expect us to behave like babies under detention with our mouths shut," Rani said.  
  
The Wraith chuckled. "You are truly beyond help. But you are pretty so I forgive you."  
  
Rani rolled his eyes and checked the restraints he had put on the prisoner. His hands were still firmly tied.  
  
"Come. I'll introduce you to our visitors and staff. They will familiarize you with the facts you need to know and give you access to research and collected data if you wish. Try to be nice... well, nicer than you usually are.”  
  
"Little one, you are the one of us who talk like a whore, so mock me."  
  
Rani sneered and pushed the prisoner forward to the group of people he would work with now. As they passed the ship crew, many uncertain eyes watched their steps and the talking suddenly died down. Rani cleared nervously his throat.  
  
"I expect all of you at the best behavior," he started. "We may not be best friends or trust each other, but now, we need to work together to achieve our common goal. Please, remember why we are doing this - for our Commander, our Alliance and our destiny. We cannot afford to fuck this up so we have to accept help from all sources, no matter how we hate each other right now. I want you all to cooperate, to share information needed to save the ones we keep dear and I will not support any form of assaults towards him or his towards you. I took precautions so he will not hurt you - I can promise you that if he'll hurt anyone of you, he will suffer the way he cannot even imagine. I ask you to respect my decision. I am not happy either, but his knowledge is crucial."  
  
Rani was aware of the looks the visitors from Atlantis were giving the two of them, standing in front of the crew who were watching the prisoner with hatred and mistrust, but there was nothing in the moment he could do. They needed this Wraith and the scientist knew that, they just didn't want to.  
  


"Any questions?"


End file.
